Eternal Sunshine: A Ryan and Marissa Story
by jjoplin
Summary: How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! The world forgotten by the world forgot: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Each prayer accepted, and each wish resign'd.
1. author's note

AUTHORS NOTE – PLEASE READ…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all. Nothing that has to do with The OC, and nothing that has to do with the film, _Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind_.

First and foremost…if you have not seen the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind…now is the time to turn around, because you'll have no idea what's going on.

This is a Ryan and Marissa story, using the story line of Eternal Sunshine… basically, think of Ryan as Joel, and Marissa as Clementine. In this story, the characters don't meet again the next day, they meet again five years later…so, the bulk of the story is Ryan reliving all his memories with Marissa from season one. The characters are kind of spit in half between Ryan and Marissa and Joel and Clementine. When the story jumps to when they meet again, in the future, they basically act as Joel and Clementine, and it follows the movie almost exactly. Thus creating a sort of passivity in Ryan, and a more liberated, kind of spunky, blue haired, and foul-mouthed Marissa. I wanted to keep those parts of screenplay, but I also had to make then teenagers, thus the time leap. Well…one of them, anyway.

I got my hands on a copy of the original screenplay for this film, so there are parts where I followed the screenplay as apposed to the movie…so even if you've seen the movie there will be some different stuff…particularly the beginning and ending, and some of the timeline…but I'm pretty sure it all makes sense. Also in dialogue, some Ryan and Marissa interactions start with a classic season one interaction, and can turn into a conversation Joel and Clementine were having, or vice a versa.

As far as the plot line concerning Mierzwiak, Mary, Stan and Patrick, that is as much part of the story as anything else is, sorry if you don't want to read that stuff, but it's pretty essential for the story. Anyway, there are a lot of things lifted directly from the movie and directly from The OC…it's all about blatant plagiarism…just kidding…although seriously now…who would truly ever want to re-write Kaufman? Charlie, or Andy, for that matter. I don't know if Andy ever actually wrote anything down though…sorry, rambling. Also, there is one small scene I stole from the Cameron Crowe, classic eighties movie,_ Say Anything. _So…I don't own anything that has anything to do with _Say Anything _or Cameron Crowe, either. Anyway, I had to put it in because it was just too perfect. Besides, to know Lloyd Dobbler is to love him. If you've seen the movie, you'll know where it is.

Any words in _italics_ are Ryan's point of view, unless otherwise specified, and from inside Ryan's head…if that makes sense. I used it very much in the same way they used the voice over in the film. Sometimes he's narrating, sometimes he's just thinking, sometimes he's talking to you…i.e. the reader. It's not hard to follow.

A few minor pieces of information: for the purposes of this fanfic, let's all just assume that Ryan and Marissa did actually sleep together at the end of "The Perfect Couple" episode…agreed? Good. Oh, and there's no Montauk in California…at least not that I know of, so open your mind a little bit on that one too.

Okay, so I hope I haven't officially confused the hell out of you…give it a shot, and let me know what you think.

-

Just a thought…I'd recommend smoking a joint before reading this. Wait, what am I saying, I wouldn't want to be bias, so…choose whatever drug or hallucinogen that suits you…and enjoy.

Or not…


	2. 01

An old woman walks down a busy street, holding a tattered manuscript made up of maybe one thousand pages in her hand. She stops in front of a grand, and modern looking building, which has Random House-Knopf-Taschen etched into the wall in gold letters. The old woman makes her way into the building; she seems haunted and looks hollow-eyed and sickly. A young receptionist, dressed in a shiny, stretchy one-piece pantsuit, looks up at the woman.

Receptionist: Oh, hi.

Old Woman: (Apologetically) I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd see –

Receptionist: I think he's in a conference. Unfortunately. I'm really sorry.

Old Woman: Would you just try him? You never know…as long as I'm here. You never now.

Receptionist: Of course, please have a seat.

The old woman smiles and sits, allowing the bulky manuscript to lie on her lap. She stares politely straight ahead.

Receptionist: (Quietly into headset) It's her – I know, but couldn't you just – Yes, I know but – I know, but she's old and it would be a nice – Yes, sorry.

The receptionist turned her attention towards the old woman.

Receptionist: I'm sorry, ma'am, he's not in right now. It's a crazy time of year for us.

The receptionist motioned towards a Christmas tree covered in hologram ornaments in the corner of the room.

Old Woman: This book – It's essential that people read it because –

The old woman gravely patted the manuscript.

Old Woman: It's the truth. And only I know it.

Receptionist: (Nodding sympathetically) Maybe after the holidays then.

-

The old woman walked haltingly down a subway hall, still carrying her manuscript in her hand. The stopped briefly to catch her breath, then continued down the hallway, passing under several archways with letters printed above them. Eventually, she arrived at one topped by an LL, she slips a card in a slot, and a plastic molded chair drops into the archway. She sits in the chair, and it immediately rises, propelling her into a glass tube. The chair slips gracefully into a line of other chairs shooting through the tube. The woman looks around her at the chairs peopled by commuters, studying their variously harsh, sad and lonely faces. She glances down at the manuscript sitting in her lap; it's called:

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

-

FIFTY YEARS EARLIER – PRESENT DAY; LATE SEPT. 2004

It's an everyday waiting room: chairs against the wall, magazines on end tables, a sad-looking potted plant, generic seascape paintings on the walls. The receptionist is a blonde haired, perky looking girl, who looks to be in her mid-twenties, and can be seen typing in the reception area. Behind her are shelves and shelves of medical files. The door opens and Marissa Cooper enters. She's barely eighteen, if that, tall and skinny. Mary notices Marissa immediately and looks up.

Mary: May I help you?

Marissa approached the reception area.

Marissa: Yeah, hi, I have a one o'clock with Dr. Mierzwiak. Marissa Cooper.

Mary: Yes, please have a seat. He'll be right with you.

Marissa makes her way to one of the not so comfortable waiting room chairs, and sits. She looks tired, maybe hung-over. She picks up a magazine at random and thumbs through it without interest.

Meanwhile, Mary had made her way down a hallway and was knocking on a closed door.

Mierzwiak: (From inside) Yes?

Mary opens the door and peeks in to find a forty-something year old, professional looking Howard Mierzwiak sitting behind his desk studying papers.

Mary: Howard, your one o'clock.

Mierzwiak: (Not looking up) Thanks, Mary. You can bring her in.

Mary smiles and nods her head. She is clearly in love, but at the same time, it is equally clear that Mierzwiak doesn't have a clue. Mary turns to leave the room.

Mierzwiak: (Suddenly looking up) Mary…

Mary: (Turning back) Yes?

Mierzwiak: Order me pastrami for after?

Mary: Cole slaw, ice tea?

Mierzwiak: (Nodding) Thanks.

Mary: Welcome, Howard.

Mary smiles once again, before heading back down the hall. Stan, a tall and spindly thirty-something in a lab coat popped out of a doorway.

Stan: Boo.

Mary: Hi.

Mary glanced back nervously at Mierzwiak's open door.

Stan: Barely seen you all morning, kiddo.

Stan leaned in to kiss her, but she craned her neck to keep him off.

Mary: (Reprimanding whisper) Stan…c'mon,

Stan: Sorry. I just –

Mary: (Somewhat guiltily) It's just…y'know…I mean…

Stan: I know. Anyway –

Mary: Anyway, I've got to do my tap dance here.

Mary motions to the door to the reception area, and Stan nods his head.

Stan: See you later, alligator.

Mary: Okay.

Stan: Hey, if you're ordering lunch for Mierzwiak, would you –

Mary: I better do this, Stan.

Stan nods his head once again and Mary opens the door to the waiting room.

Mary: Ms. Cooper?

Marissa: Hi.

Marissa moves from her seat and walks towards the doorway. Mary leads her down the hall, neither of them looking back.

Mary: (Professionally courteous) How are you today?

Marissa: Okay, I guess.

Mary stopped outside of Mierzwiak's door.

Mary: Here we are.

Mierzwiak stepped out from behind his desk as Mary ushered Marissa into the room.

Mierzwiak: Ms. Cooper, please come in, have a seat.

Marissa complies as Mary smiles at Mierzwiak and closes the door, leaving them alone.

Mierzwiak reseats himself behind his desk, offering a smile to Marissa and placing a box of tissues within arms reach of her.

Mierzwiak: How are you today?

Marissa: Okay, I guess.

Mierzwiak: (Nodding sympathetically) Well, why don't you tell me what's going on? Do you mind if I turn this on?

Mierzwiak motioned to a tape recorder sitting on his desk.

Marissa: I don't care.

Mierzwiak turns the tape recorder on, smiling at Marissa, and gestures for her to begin.

Marissa: Well, I've been having a bad time of it with um, my boyfriend, I guess.

Mierzwiak: You guess he's your boyfriend? Or you guess you're having a bad time with him?

Marissa: What? No. Yes…I guess it's a bit of both.

Mierzwiak nods his head; he's attentive, patient and pleasant.

Marissa: Anyway, it's been rough with him, you know…like from the second he entered my life he changed it. In some ways I'm grateful towards him, because he changed things for the better, but in other ways…I don't know, it's like this constant questioning and re-questioning. Do I just end it? What if it hasn't even really started yet? Is there anything even left to end? Should I give it more time? I'm not happy, but what do I expect? I haven't been happy since he left, and now that he's back…maybe part of me just expected that if I never saw him again, I'd get over him…

Marissa trailed off as her eyes darted down to the floor.

Marissa: Sometimes I think that maybe I'm just a victim of movies, y'know? That I have some completely unrealistic notion of what a relationship can be. I mean, relationships require work…you know the drill. But then I think, no, this is what I really want, so I should allow myself the freedom to go out and fucking find it. You know? Agreed? But then I think he is a good guy…a great guy, and I love him and…it's just complicated. Y'know?

Mierzwiak: I think I know. I think we can help. Why don't you start by telling me about your relationship? Everything you can think of. Everything about him. Everything about you. And we'll take it from there.

Marissa nods and takes a few seconds, obviously deep in thought.

Marissa: Well, it all started the first time I met him, it was late summer, and I was standing outside my house –

-


	3. 02

FIVE YEARS LATER

A twenty-three year old Ryan Atwood flung himself up in bed. He pushed the comforter off of him, allowing it to fall onto the floor. He brought his hands up to his face, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he moved off of the bed and made his way towards the bathroom.

A little over an hour later Ryan stands on a crowded train platform along with various other men and women, mostly all dressed in business attire and commuting to work. Ryan stares straight in front of him taking notice of the empty platform across the tracks. Suddenly he turns and makes his way through the crowd. He climbs the stairs and hurriedly crosses the overpass to the empty platform. An empty train pulls up to the station as Ryan steps foot on the platform and he immediately enters it. Ryan finds a seat and watches the business commuters through a dirty window as his train pulls out of the station.

-

Ryan is standing on an empty station platform with a payphone up to his ear. The wind howls around him, as he tries to shield the mouthpiece to speak. A sign above his head is creaking as the wind blows it back and forth, it reads: Montauk.

Ryan: (On Phone) Hi, Cindy. Ryan. Listen, I'm not feeling well this morning. No. Food poisoning, I think. Sorry it took me so long to call in, but I've been vomiting.

-

Ryan wanders a windy and empty beach. Eventually he finds a seat on a rock and pulls out a notebook. He opens it and writes with a gloved hand.

_January 16, 2009. Today I skipped work and took the train out to Montauk. I'm not really sure why._

Ryan stops writing and looks out towards the ocean thinking.

_It's cold._

He stops and thinks some more.

_The sky is gray._

He stops, yet again, and thinks some more.

_I don't know what else to say. Nothing happens. Nothing changes. I saw Theresa last night. We had sex. It was weird to fall into our old familiar sex life so easily. Like no time had passed. It had been almost two years since the last time I saw her, and suddenly we're talking about getting back together again. I don't know…I guess that's good._

Ryan has no other thoughts. He glances up and spots a female figure in the distance, walking in his direction. She stands out against the gray in a fluorescent orange hooded sweatshirt. It's Marissa. He watches her for a bit, then goes back to his writing, or at least pretends to. Once she passed, he watches her walk away. She stopped suddenly, and turned, staring out towards the ocean. Ryan returned to his notebook.

_If I'm constitutionally incapable of making eye contact with a woman I don't know. I guess I'd better get back to Theresa._

-

It's later in the day and Ryan sits in a diner. It's a local tourist place, but off-season empty. Ryan sits alone in a booth eating a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup. An elderly couple sits at the counter sipping coffee. Marissa enters the diner, looks around, and then removes her hood, revealing her bright blue hair. Ryan studied her discreetly as she chose an empty booth and sat down, a waitress immediately walking towards her with a coffee pot.

Waitress: Coffee?

Marissa: God, yes. You've saved my life.

The waitress pours her a cup.

Waitress: You know what you want yet?

Marissa: (Laughing) Ain't that the question of the century.

The waitress is not amused.

Marissa: You got grilled cheese and tomato soup?

Waitress: Yeah. We're having a run on it.

The waitress turns, and heads to the grill. Marissa fishes into her purse, brings her coffee cup under the table for a moment, pouring a small bottle of alcohol into it, then returns it to the table.

Marissa looks around the diner. Her eyes meet Ryan's before he is able to look away. She smiles vaguely. He looks embarrassed, then down at his journal. Marissa pulls a book out of her purse and starts to read. Ryan glances up and tries to see the cover. It's blue. He can't read the title.

-

Ryan stares out at the ocean. Far down the beach Marissa stares at it, too. Ryan glances sideways at her, then back to the ocean.

-

It's late afternoon and Ryan sits on a bench waiting for a train. Marissa enters the platform, and sees Ryan, the only other person there. She waves, sort of goofily enthusiastic, playing as if they're old friends. He waves back, embarrassed. She takes a seat on a bench far down the platform. Ryan stares at his hands, then pulls out his journal and tries to write.

A bit later Ryan sits in the far end of an empty train car and watches the slowly passing desolate terrain. After a moment the door opens, and Marissa enters. Ryan looks up, but Marissa is not looking at him; she busies herself deciding on where to sit. She settles on a seat at the opposite end of the car. Ryan returns to looking out the window. He feels her watching him. The train begins to pick up speed.

Marissa: (Calling over the rumble) Hi!

Ryan looks towards her.

Ryan: I'm sorry.

Marissa: Why?

Ryan: Why what?

Marissa: Why are you sorry? I just said hi.

Ryan: No, I didn't know if you were talking to me, so…

Marissa looked around the empty train car.

Marissa: Really?

Ryan: (Embarrassed) Well, I didn't want to assume.

Marissa: Aw, c'mon, live dangerously. Take the leap and assume someone is talking to you in an otherwise empty car.

Ryan: Anyway. Sorry. Hi.

Marissa stood up and began to make her way down the aisle towards Ryan.

Marissa: Is it okay if I sit closer? So I don't need to scream. Not that I don't need to scream sometimes, believe me.

She paused for a beat, thinking about something.

Marissa: But I don't want to bug you if you're trying to write or something.

Ryan: No. I mean, I don't know. I can't really think of much to say probably.

Marissa: Oh. So…

Marissa hesitates in the middle of the car and looks back where she came from.

Ryan: I mean, it's okay if you want to sit down here. I didn't mean to –

Marissa: No, I don't want to bug you if you're trying to –

Ryan: It's okay, really.

Marissa: Just, you know, to chat a little, maybe. I've got a long trip.

Marissa took a seat across from Ryan.

Marissa: How far are you going? On the train, I mean.

Ryan: Newport Union.

Marissa: Get out! Me too! What are the odds?

Ryan: The weirder part is I think I actually recognize you. I thought that earlier in the diner. You work at Borders, right?

Marissa: Ucch, really? You're kidding. God. Bizarre small world, huh? I thought I knew everybody in Newport Beach…I mean I left for about a year after high school but…anyway yeah, me: book slave there for, like, three years now.

Ryan: Really? Because –

Marissa: Jesus, is it three years? I gotta quit right now.

Ryan: Because I go there all the time –

Marissa: Do you have a cell phone? I need to quit right this minute. I'll call in dead.

Ryan: I don't have one.

Marissa: I'll go on the dole. Like my daddy before me.

Ryan: I noticed your hair. I guess it made an impression on me, that's why I was pretty sure I recognized you.

Marissa: Ah, the hair.

She pulls a strand of her hair in front of her eyes, studying it.

Marissa: Blue, right? It's called Blue Ruin. The color. Snappy name, huh?

Ryan: I like it, it's nice.

Marissa: Blue Ruin is cheap gin in case you were wondering.

Ryan: I know.

There is a silence as they both stare out the window.

Marissa: My name's Marissa, by the way.

Ryan: I'm Ryan.

The conductor came around and checked both their tickets as the two took part in some casual conversations, and were getting to know each other.

Marissa: Truth be told, I can be a vindictive little bitch.

Ryan: Now see, I wouldn't think that about you.

Marissa: (Slightly pissy) Why wouldn't you think that about me?

Ryan: Oh. I don't know. I was just…I don't know. I was…you seemed nice, so –

Marissa: Now I'm nice? Don't you know any other adjectives? There's careless and snotty and overbearing and argumentative…

Ryan: Well, anyway…sorry.

The two sit in silence for a while.

Marissa: It's just, I don't think "nice" is a particularly interesting thing to be…

Ryan looks over at Marissa.

Marissa: What is nice, anyway? I mean, besides an adjective? I guess it can be an adverb, sort of.

She fished into her purse and pulled out a small bottle of alcohol, taking a swig and offering some to Ryan who declined.

Marissa: It doesn't reveal anything. Nice is pandering. Cowardly. Life is more interesting than that. Or should be. Jesus God, I hope it is…someday.

Ryan seamed somewhat mesmerized by Marissa. He listened intently.

Marissa: I don't need nice. I don't need myself to be it and I don't need anyone else to be it at me.

Ryan: Okay.

Marissa polished off the bottle of alcohol. Ryan is watching but pretending not to. Marissa stares out the window for a while. The train pulls into a station. The doors open, nobody enters, and the doors close again. The train pulls out.

Marissa: Ryan? It's Ryan, right?

Ryan: Yes?

Marissa: I'm sorry I…yelled at you. Was it yelling? I can't really tell. Whatever, I'm a little out of sorts today.

Ryan: It's okay.

Marissa stares out the window.

Marissa: My embarrassing admission is I really like that you're nice. Right now, anyway. I can't tell from one moment to the next what I'm going to like. But right now I'm glad you said, "that's nice" to me. That was nice of you.

Ryan: It's no problem. Anyway, I have some stuff I need to –

Marissa: Oh, okay. Well, sure, I'll just…

She stood up, throwing her purse over her shoulder.

Marissa: Take care, then.

Ryan pulled his journal out and looked over at Marissa briefly.

Ryan: Maybe I'll see you at the bookstore.

Marissa smiles and nods and takes an empty seat, staring out the window.

-

There are a few more people in the train now, and Marissa has inched a few seats closer to Ryan. She watches him. His head immersed in his journal.

It's pitch black outside now, and the train is crowded now. Ryan sits, staring out the window. Marissa sits closer still to Ryan, eyeing him.

Eventually the train pulls into Newport Union, and Ryan emerges from the train along with others. He heads to the parking lot, and gets in his black Range Rover.

-


	4. 03

Moments later Ryan is driving down the street, when he spots Marissa walking. She looks cold. He considers, then slows the car and rolls down the window.

Ryan: I could give you a ride if you need.

Marissa: That's okay. Thanks, though.

Ryan: You're sure? It's cold.

Marissa: I wouldn't want to take you out of your way.

Ryan: It's okay.

Marissa: Yeah?

Ryan pulls the car over, and she climbs in.

Ryan: Where do you live?

Marissa: You're not a stalker or anything, right?

Ryan: Well, I probably wouldn't say if I were, but no.

Marissa: You can't be too careful. I've been stalked. I've been told I'm highly stalkable. I don't need that.

Ryan: I'm not a stalker.

There was silence in the car for just a second.

Marissa: You know Harbor?

Ryan: The high school?

Marissa: Yeah. I live near the high school, on Wilmont.

Ryan: I know where that is.

There was silence in the car once again as Ryan turned onto a street.

Marissa: Look, I'm sorry if I came off sort of nutso. I'm not really.

Ryan: It's okay. I didn't think you were.

Silence filled the car once again.

Marissa: So you like bookstores, huh?

Ryan: I like to read.

Marissa: You like Kerouac?

Ryan: I always liked _On The Road._

Marissa: Oh my God, that's been my favorite book since like…forever.

Marissa pointed to a small house.

Marissa: Me.

Ryan nodded and parked the car against the curb in front of Marissa's house.

Marissa: Thanks very much. That was very nice of you.

Ryan: Well, I wouldn't want to be –

Marissa: Oh, Geez, I'm full of shit. I already told you that.

There was a slight pause and a moment of tension.

Marissa: Anyway. See ya.

Marissa opened the car door and stepped out.

Ryan: Take care.

Marissa: (Turning back) Hey, do you want to have a drink? I have lots of drinks. And I could –

Ryan: Um…

Marissa: Never mind. Sorry, that was stupid. I'm embarrassed. Good night, Ryan.

-

Five minutes later, Ryan stands in the middle of Marissa's living room, somewhat nervously. He tries to remain calm by focusing on the surroundings. Marissa's in the kitchen preparing drinks and chatting.

Marissa: I really like this place; one of my neighbors is this really old lady, so it's always quiet. And the landlord's sweet, which is bizarre, but great, and I have a little porch in the back that I can sit out on…

Marissa entered the living room with two gin and tonics.

Marissa: Two blue ruins…

Ryan: Cheers.

They clink glasses. Marissa giggles and takes a big gulp, while Ryan sips his drink. Marissa plops down on the couch, pulling her shoes off.

Marissa: God, that feels so fucking good. Take yours off.

Ryan: I'm fine.

Marissa: Well, have a seat, anyway.

Ryan found a seat in a chair across the room. Marissa finishes her drink.

Marissa: Ready for another?

Ryan: I'm okay for now.

Marissa stood up from the couch, glass in hand, and walked towards the kitchen.

Marissa: Well, I'm ready.

Marissa topped off her glass and returned to the living room, taking her seat, once again, on the couch.

Ryan: I should probably get going.

Marissa: No, stay. Just for a little while.

Marissa stretched back on the couch and closed her eyes. Ryan watches her, seemingly mesmerized. Ryan eyes her body and stops for a second on her breasts. Marissa opens her eyes, smiles to him.

Marissa: Y'know…I'm sort of psychic.

Ryan: Yeah?

Marissa: Well, I go to a psychic and she's always telling me I'm psychic. She should know. Do you believe in that stuff?

Ryan: I don't know. I don't think so.

Marissa: Me neither. But sometimes I have premonitions, so, I don't know. Maybe that's just coincidence. Right? Y'know, you think something and then it happens, or you think a word and then someone says it? Y'know?

Ryan: I guess. It's hard to know.

Marissa: Exactly. Exactly! That's exactly my feeling about it. It's hard to know. Like, okay, but how many times do I think something and it doesn't happen? That's what you're saying, right? You forget about those times. Right?

Ryan: I guess.

Marissa: What about reincarnation?

Ryan: I don't know.

Marissa: Yeah, me either. I don't believe in that soul mate crap…anymore. I guess it's all just fucked up…to many "what if's."

Ryan nodded his head and looked to Marissa. Silence crept into the room, and stayed there for a few minutes. Marissa leaned her head back, closing her eyes again.

Ryan: I think I should probably get going.

Marissa: No.

She opened her eyes brightly, perking up and looking at Ryan.

Marissa: Refill?

Ryan: I –

Marissa: I know a man who needs a refill.

She grabbed Ryan's drink from his hand, and took it into the kitchen.

Marissa: God bless alcohol, is what I say. Where would I be without it? Oh, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, maybe I don't want to think about that.

Marissa giggles and Ryan looks around the room again. Marissa returned to the living room, passing Ryan's drink back to him.

Ryan: Thanks.

Marissa: Drink up, young man. It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.

Ryan looked at Marissa slightly alarmed.

Marissa: Just kidding. C'mon.

Marissa plopped back down on the couch and closed her eyes. A few second later, Ryan joined her.

Marissa: You're kinda closed mouthed, aren't you?

Ryan: Sorry. My life isn't that interesting. I go to work. I go home. I don't know what to say.

Marissa: Oh…

She stops, considering this for a second.

Marissa: …doesn't that make you sad? Or anxious? I'm always anxious thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest. Just making sure I'm not wasting one second of the little time I have.

Ryan: I think about that.

Marissa looks at Ryan, really hard for a long moment. He tries to hold her gaze, but can't. He looks down at his drink.

Marissa: You're really nice. I'm sorry I yelled at you before about it. God, I'm an idiot.

Ryan: I have a tendency to use that word too much.

Marissa: I like you. That's the thing, I just get that you're a really good guy.

Ryan: Thanks.

Marissa: Anyway, you sell yourself short. I can tell. There's a lot of stuff going on in your brain. I can tell. My goal…can I tell you my goal?

Ryan: Yeah.

Marissa: (ala Paul Simon) What's the goal, Ryan?

Marissa laughs, and then continues.

Marissa: My goal, Ryan, is to just let it flow through me? Do you know what I mean? It's like there are all these emotions and ideas and they come quick and they change and they leave and they come back in a different form and I think we're all taught we should be consistent. Y'know? You love someone – that's it. Forever. You choose to do something with you life – that's it, that's what you do. It's a sign of maturity to stick with that and see things through. And my feeling is that's how you die, because you stop listening to what is true, and what is true is constantly changing. You know?

Ryan: Yeah, I think so. It's hard to –

Marissa: Like I wanted to talk to you. I didn't need any more reason to do it. Who knows what bigger cosmic reason might exist?

Ryan: Yeah.

Marissa: You're very nice. God, I have to stop saying that. You're nervous around me, huh?

Ryan: No.

Marissa: I'm nervous. You don't need to be nervous around me, though. I like you.

Silence filled the room once again, the two sat for some time, both just sipping their drinks.

Ryan: I think I should probably go.

Marissa: I think you should stay.

Ryan: I have to get up early tomorrow morning, so…

Marissa: Oh, okay.

Ryan reaches for his jacket as Marissa pulls out a pad of paper and a pen.

Marissa: I would like you to call me. Would you do that? I would like that.

Ryan: Yes.

She smiles and hands him her phone number. He puts it in his pocket, and stands there uncomfortably for a moment, before forcing himself to speak.

Ryan: I really enjoyed meeting you.

Marissa: Me too…you'll call me, right?

Ryan: Yes.

-

Ryan entered his apartment, throwing his jacket down on a chair. He paced around his apartment for about fifteen minutes before pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket and picking up his phone. He dialed a number and placed the phone against his ear. It rang a few times, before a female voice picked up.

Marissa: (On phone) What took you so long?

Ryan laughed slightly and looked down at the floor.

Ryan: (On phone) I just walked in the door.

Marissa: Do you miss me?

Ryan: You know, oddly enough, I do.

-


	5. 04

PRESENT DAY

It's late at night, and Ryan turns the Range Rover into the Cohen's driveway, immediately noticing a van parked across the street with two dark figures inside.

_Them._

Ryan parks the car at the top of the driveway, and hurriedly makes his way around the side of the house and into the pool house.

_There are two of them. Couldn't make them out. The orange glow of a cigarette._

Ryan walks around to the side of the pool house, hovering over the railing to get a better look at the street below. Ryan squinted to see inside the van. Two dark figures sit, talking. One sucks on a cigarette, and a dim orange light momentarily illuminates the interior. The figure in the driver seat rolled down the window and offered a cheery wave to Ryan.

_The driver waved. So casual, friendly. I'm like a joke to them._

Ryan returned to the pool house.

_I guess they figure they can act like they want. They don't have to worry about me remembering._

He paces, mulling things over. As he does, the space around him seems as though it's drying out.

_I might be making a mistake._

_Maybe I'm making a mistake. Maybe I just need to learn to live with this. First of all, I'll get over it. Secondly, it happened. Those who do not remember history are condemned to repeat it. Who said that? Churchill? I'm not sure. But I don't care. She did it to me. I have to rid myself of this. Fuck her._

_Fuck you, Marissa. _

The colors bleach, and Ryan's surroundings become slightly vague. His emotional intensity is becoming diffused, although he is unaware. He stops pacing, and takes a small vial out of his pocket. He opened the vial and dumped the lone pill into the palm of his hand. He looks at it. It's pink, with some illegible initials on it.

_The pill was pink, I remember. It had some letters and numbers on it. What were they? AL 1718? AL something. Four digits. I don't like taking pills when I don't know what they are._

_I have to follow through with this. I have no choice._

He swallows the pill and then takes a peek down at the street again. He takes his clothes off, changing into an old pair of sweats and putting on a fresh tank top. He sits on the edge of the bed, and dials the phone, placing the phone against his ear. Eventually a recorded message came on.

"We're sorry, the number you have dialed is no longer in service. If you think you have reached this recording in error –"

_Screw you, Marissa, for doing this._

Ryan hangs up the phone and lies back on his bed. By now, the room seems lifeless to him, almost a husk. He hears the two car doors closing and footsteps getting increasingly closer to him.

_It's them. It's too late._

Ryan's eyelids are getting heavy. He closes his eyes, and nothing but black surrounds him. He hears the jiggle of the pool house doorknob.

_Fuck._

-

Ryan finds himself standing in a mass of people in The Bait Shop. Music is blaring loudly into the crowd of people. It's a jarring transition, both visually and emotionally. Ryan is in the midst of some traumatic state of mind. He spots Marissa standing across the club, leaning back against the bar.

Ryan: I should maybe talk to you.

_Marissa. I should just maybe talk to her._

Ryan: I love you and if you knew that…if I told you what happened…I'll explain everything, what we meant to each other. I'll tell you everything about our time together. You'll know everything again and…

_Maybe if I just explain what happened, I wouldn't have to go through this and I could tell you everything and it would be like you knew and we could rebuild and we could be happy again and…_

Right before Ryan gets there, Patrick, a skinny young man approaches Marissa. Ryan stops, watches. The young man seems out of breath. He glances over at Ryan, then taps Marissa on the shoulder. She turns, annoyed, but then her face lights up as she sees who it is.

Ryan: Marissa.

_That's your look for me._

Marissa giggles and stands up, poking Patrick playfully in the ribs.

Patrick: I just thought I'd say hi. I was in the neighborhood.

Marissa: You were not.

Patrick: I was not.

Ryan is mesmerized by their familiarity. He stands there staring at them as his surroundings begin to fade around him, now all he can hear is voices.

Marissa: Come over later?

Patrick: I can't. I want to, but I have to study.

Marissa: Come on.

Patrick: I really want to, but I have a really big test tomorrow.

_How could she do this to me? How could anyone do this to anyone?_

Ryan seems dazed, as in some sort of dream confusion.

_What's happening here? Oh, God. I have to go home. They'll be there soon._

Ryan was driving recklessly back to the Cohen house.

Ryan: Gotta get home. How could she do this to me? How could she not care about what we meant to each other. What a fuck! What a fucking monster she is!

_Oh, God. I miss her. I can't believe she's with that guy now! I'm never going to see her again. I love her so much. What a fucking monster she is!_

Ryan surroundings fade as he pulls into the Cohen's driveway. The van is parked across the street. We've seen this before, but it's dried out now.

_Them._

-

Ryan trudges down the street, two large trash bags full of stuff in his hands. He looks behind him and finds himself standing outside the pool house, looking down at the van parked on the street below. He turns back, looking forward and spots the address he was looking for: 610 11th Avenue.

Ryan sits in a small waiting room with his bags. A woman across from him is clutching a box full of belongings in her lap. She has obviously been crying. Mary, the receptionist, pokes her head through the window into the waiting room.

Mary: Hello again, Mr. Atwood. Good, you've brought your stuff.

Mary leads Ryan down a hallway, he walks behind her, carrying his bags.

Mary: (Not looking back) How are you today?

They arrived at a closed door and Mary motioned to it.

Mary: Here we are.

Mary ushers him in and Mierzwiak and Stan, who are both standing in the middle of the room, with lab coats on, greet Ryan as he enters.

Mierzwiak: Ah, Mr. Atwood. This is Stan. He'll be in charge of your procedure tonight.

Stan nods professionally.

Stan: Mr. Atwood.

Ryan: How exactly is this going to work?

As Mierzwiak begins talking, the room colors start to fade, Mierzwiak's voice is also affected; it becomes dry and monotonous.

Mierzwiak: We'll start with your most recent memories and go backwards – there is an emotional core to each of our memories – as we eradicate this core, it starts its degradation process. By the time you wake up in the morning, all memories we've targeted will have withered and disappeared. Like a dream upon waking.

Ryan: Is there any sort of risk of brain damage?

Mierzwiak: Well, technically, the procedure itself is brain damage, but on a par with a night of heavy drinking. Nothing you'll miss.

Ryan looks around quizzically at the eroding environment. Suddenly, he gets it.

Ryan: It's happening now! I'm already in my brain.

Mierzwiak: Yes, I suppose you are.

Mierzwiak turned back into his faded memory persona.

Mierzwiak: Well, let's get started – if we want the procedure underway tonight, we have some work to do.

Ryan is sitting in a chair. Electrodes connect him to some electronic machinery monitored by Stan. Mierzwiak watches from the corner.

Stan: We use the articles you brought to create a map of Marissa in your brain. Tonight while you sleep we'll be able to trace the map and erase.

Ryan: But you're tracing and erasing now. It's already started. I'm home in my bed.

Stan pulls out a mini Ferris wheel and sets it up in front of Ryan. The equipment immediately registers Ryan's reaction.

Stan: Very good.

Stan pulls out the "The Model Home Mix" and places it in front of Ryan, the equipment once again picking up his reaction.

Mierzwiak: We'll dispose of these mementos when we're done here. That way you won't be confused later by their unexplainable presence in your home.

Stan pulled out a picture of Ryan and Marissa kissing on the beach. Ryan stared at the picture.

Stan: Good. We're getting healthy read-outs.

The room, Stan, and Mierzwiak are now vague and wispy.

Stan's Voice: Patrick, do me a favor –

Ryan is watching Stan. Stan is not speaking, yet his voice continues.

Stan's Voice- and check the voltage levels, I'm not wiping as clean as I would like here.

Ryan looks up. Stan's voice seems to be coming from above.

-


	6. 05

Ryan lies on his bed in the pool house, wearing his old pair of sweats and a fresh tank top. His eyes are closed and electrodes connect his head to several machines. The machines are operated by Stan; now in grubby street clothes, and in need of a shave, and Patrick, dressed similarly. The monitor on one of the machines traces a myriad of light blips running like streams through an image of Ryan's brain. Stan presses buttons and operates a joystick, aiming for the lines, while Patrick watches a meter on one of the machines.

Patrick: Voltage looks fine.

Stan: Check the connections.

Patrick leaned down and jiggled with some jacks.

Patrick: That help?

Stan: Yeah, that looks better. Thanks.

-

The memory is becoming vague, characters' affects flatten. Back in the lab, Stan pulls out a pile of loose-leaf pages. Mierzwiak smiles.

Mierzwiak: Ah, your journal. This will be invaluable.

Stan: (Reading) August 5th, 2003. I met someone tonight. God, I don't know what to do. I've never met anybody like her. Her name is Marissa and she lives next door to the Cohen's. There was an instant connection. She's like nobody I've ever met before. She seems so alive, so passionate, I spent all of fifteen minutes with the girl, and already I can't get her out of my head. I should be thinking about how I got out of jail, and how my mom kicked me out of the house. I should be thinking about something great to do for Sandy and Kirsten Cohen, for allowing me to stay with them…even if it's just for the night. Anyway, I should be doing that, but I'm sitting here thinking about this girl. I mean that's all she is, right? She's just a girl.

The lab around Ryan became a shell of itself as Stan rattled on.

Stan's Voice: I think we got this one. Let's push on.

Ryan stares up at the ceiling.

-

Ryan snaps into a new memory. He is angrily pacing around the pool house filling two large trash bags with anything and everything that reminds him of Marissa. There were funny little gifts, CD's that Marissa had both left and made for Ryan, clothing that had some how remained in the pool house even after Ryan had left to go back to Chino. He picks up his journal, ripping a big clump of pages out and dumping them in the bag.

He gets some loose-leaf paper and writes:

_August 5th, 2003. Last night my brother and I stole a car. I ended up in jail. My mom kicked me out, and now…somehow, I find myself in Newport Beach, staying in my public defender's pool house. I haven't met anybody here yet, but I probably won't even be here long enough…_

The room fades away around Ryan as he continues to write.

-

Ryan walks down an empty hallway, looking for an office number. Eventually, he finds it; the plaque on the door reads Lacuna Ltd. Ryan opens the door and enters.

Ryan enters the Lacuna waiting room. Mary sits in the reception area.

Mary: May I help you?

Ryan: My name is Ryan Atwood. I have an appointment.

Mary: Have a seat. Dr. Mierzwiak will be right with you.

Mary leads Ryan out of the waiting room and down a hallway.

Mary: (Without turning) How are you today?

Ryan: Not great.

Mary: Here we are.

Mary motioned towards the door, and ushered Ryan into the room, following behind him. Ryan noticed Mary smiling coquettishly at Mierzwiak.

A few minutes later, Ryan and Dr. Mierzwiak are in the sitting area. Ryan looks down at the tape recorder.

Mierzwiak: I'm sorry you saw one of our notification cards. You never should have.

Ryan: I did.

Mierzwiak: We can help you through this. Why don't you start now by telling me everything you can remember about your relationship with Marissa?

Ryan thinks for a few seconds.

Ryan: Well, I guess it was a mess, but in some weird good way. I don't know how it got this way…

Patrick's Voice: This is a really nice place.

Ryan looks up, trying to locate the voice.

-

Patrick is walking around the pool house, checking everything out. Stan monitors the equipment.

Stan: (Uninterested) It's a pool house.

Patrick: Yes, but its Newport Beach.

Stan: Patrick, let's just get through this. We have a long night ahead of us.

Patrick: Yeah.

Patrick returned to the bedside, focusing on the machines for a moment. He glances at the unconscious Ryan.

Patrick: Who do you think is better looking, me or this guy?

Stan glances sideways at Patrick.

-

Ryan and Mierzwiak are in the sitting area.

Mierzwiak: So we'll need you to go home and bring in everything you ever received from Marissa and anything that might remind you of her…

The memory is faded and disappearing fast. It's gone.

-

Ryan walks into the Cohen household, immediately making his way into the kitchen and stopping briefly to check the messages. It had become a daily routine for Ryan, like brushing his teeth…he had to check, because just maybe, Marissa actually called him today. But this day was like all the rest. He looked down at the answering machine: zero messages.

_That's it. I'm just gonna –_

Without a moment's hesitation, he picks up the phone dialing a number.

_I'm gonna tell her I'm through playing games and –_

Suddenly a recorded voice came on the line.

"The number you have dialed has been disconnected."

Ryan's eyes bug.

-

Ryan sits on the floor in Seth's bedroom with Seth and Summer.

Ryan: Why would she do that?

Ryan could hear a vague recorded voice playing over and over in his head.

"If you think you have reached this recording in error, please check your number and dial again."

Summer: I don't know. It's horrible.

Ryan: I'm just going to go to her house.

Seth: I don't think that's a good idea, man.

Ryan was deep in thought for a few minutes.

Ryan: Yeah, you're right. But, I want to talk to her.

Seth: Ryan, look, the thing is –

Summer: (Agitated, Interrupting) Seth…can I talk to you please. Alone.

Summer motioned towards the door and the two of them went out into the hall, leaving Ryan alone in the bedroom. Ryan hears a hushed argument ensue in the hall. He doesn't think much of it; he has a lot to think about already. After a few minutes, Seth came barging back into the room.

Seth: He has a right to know, Summer!

Summer: But this is not supposed to happen.

Ryan: What's going on?

Seth walked over to his desk and pulled out a comic book. He flipped through a few of the pages and stopped when he came across a yellow piece of paper about the size of a magazine subscription card. He took it in his hands and passed the paper over to Ryan. Ryan runs his fingers over the card, reading its contents.

_Marissa Cooper has had Ryan Atwood erased from her memory. Please never mention their relationship to her again. Thank you._

_Lacuna Ltd._

_610 11th Avenue, Newport Beach, CA_

Ryan stared at the card, incredulous.

_What the fuck?_

Summer: You weren't supposed to see that.

Ryan: They can't erase memories. It's a joke.

Seth: We called the company.

Ryan: What is this? I leave for Chino, then come back after three months, only to find my ex-girlfriend in the arms of another man. What the hell was I supposed to do? The first thing she fucking did was lie to me! So we don't get back together, and she erases me.

_God, she doesn't remember me at all…nothing._

Summer: I don't know Ryan. She was pretty miserable over the summer without you.

Ryan: Certainly didn't seem that way.

Summer: I was with Marissa a lot over the summer and she certainly wasn't happy. Whatever D.J. was to her, he didn't come close to meaning as much to her as you do…did. He didn't make her happy…but then again at the time, neither did you.

_Right, so this is all my fault now._

Summer: I don't know exactly what happened, Ryan. When you came back you made it seem like you wanted to be with her. Then you find out she was seeing someone while you were gone, and you flip. She didn't know what to do. I guess she just decided that maybe her life would be easier if you'd never been in it.

Ryan: That's bullshit, Summer. So what am I supposed to do, just look at her like we've never met? Am I supposed to just forget that I'm in love with her, that she was in love with me!

-

Ryan stood in the pool house motionless. A vague dictionary is held in his hands.

_Lacuna: Noun. A blank, a missing portion, especially in a manuscript._

-

Ryan is driving around Newport Beach. A conversation he had with Summer earlier playing over and over in his head.

Summer's Voice: You can't tell her, Ryan. They explained it; it's like waking a sleepwalker. It could have a devastating effect.

Ryan concentrated on the road; he didn't know where he was going. He was just driving.

Summer's Voice: Think about it, to be told you lived an existence of which you have no recollection.

Ryan's Voice: What am I supposed to do?

Summer's Voice: Move on. You've got a clean slate. Get a fresh start.

Ryan's Voice: How can I? How can I move on when I know I'm the only one to carry this love we had? How do I do that?

Finally, Ryan drives to the beach, parking the Range Rover next to the sand, and walking onto the lifeguard tower. He weeps.

-


	7. 06

Ryan rode the elevator up to the sixth floor. He searches for a room number. As he turns the corner, he sees that the hallway is vague and mostly erased. He keeps walking, comes to the door marked Lacuna, and opens it. Inside he can see a vague, erased version of Mary, the receptionist.

Mary: (Dead, Monotone) May I help you?

These degraded faded memories allow Ryan to detach himself and hear what's going on the pool house.

Stan's Voice: Mary's coming over tonight.

Ryan looks up, once again trying to find where the voice is coming from.

-

Stan and Patrick remain in the pool house, attending to the unconscious Ryan. Stan works the joystick, while Patrick sits at the foot of Ryan's bed.

Patrick: Yeah?

Stan: Just wanted to let you know.

Patrick: I like Mary. I like when she comes to visit. I just don't think she likes me.

Stan: She likes you okay.

Patrick: I wonder if I should invite my girlfriend over too. I have a girlfriend now.

Stan: You can if you want.

Patrick: Did I tell you I have a new girlfriend?

Stan: (Referring to the monitor) This one's history. Moving on…

Patrick: The thing is…my situation is a little weird. My girlfriend situation.

Stan: Patrick, we need to focus.

Stan aims the joystick, and hits his mark.

-

Suddenly Ryan found himself at the kick-off carnival. He looked across the crowd and saw a saddened looking Marissa standing next to the Ferris wheel.

_Shit. The last time I saw you._

Ryan approached her slowly, part of him was just happy to see her. Happy that she knew who he was.

Marissa: I was going to tell you…

_God, I remember this. Then, I said…_

Ryan: Yeah, and if I hadn't seen you guys together.

The events of their conversation whizzed around Ryan's head. He was beginning to get the hang of separating himself from his memories. Suddenly, Marissa brought him back.

_This is where she says:_

_What did you expect me to do? Wait for you?_

Marissa: What did you expect me to do? Wait for you?

Ryan: I didn't want you to lie to me.

_Great, this is where I walk off. I wonder what would have happened if I had stayed. You know what, fuck this and fuck her. Maybe this was a good idea. How much pain has that girl caused me?_

Suddenly, the carnival started deteriorating around Ryan. The only people left were Ryan and Marissa.

Ryan: Do you see this Marissa! Look at it out here. It's falling apart. I'm erasing you, and I'm happy!

Marissa turned and started walking away from Ryan. He started running after her and in an instant they were zapped to an empty street. Ryan was still chasing after Marissa.

Ryan: You did it to me. I can't believe you did this to me. By morning you'll be gone!

Ryan continued chasing after Marissa but wasn't getting any closer.

It's a street you might see in a dream, more an impression of a quiet street than an actual one, with what little detail there is obscured in darkness. Ryan wanders it. In the distance Marissa walks off, but as in an animated loop, he can't get any closer, but she doesn't get any farther away. It's lonely.

Patrick's Voice: You remember that girl? That gorgeous one we did last week? The one with the bright red Mustang?

Ryan looked up from the street, startled.

Stan's Voice: Yeah, that's this guy's girlfriend. Was.

-

Patrick paces around the pool house, he fidgets, and looks at the unconscious Ryan.

Patrick: I gotta tell you something. I kind of fell in love with her that night.

Stan: She was unconscious, Patrick.

Patrick: She is beautiful. So sweet and voluptuous. I kind of stole a pair of her panties, is what.

Stan: Jesus, Patrick!

Back on the vague street, Ryan is listening intently to Patrick and Stan's conversation.

Patrick's Voice: I know. It's not like…I mean, they were clean and all.

Stan's Voice: Look, just don't tell me this stuff. I don't want to know this shit.

Patrick's Voice: Yeah, Okay.

Stan's Voice: We have work to do.

-

There's a click and Ryan finds himself in the pool house snuggled up next to Marissa in bed. Just one of the many moments they had spent like that. Ryan wrapped his arms around Marissa a little tighter as she snuggled into his chest. Suddenly, the room fades out around them.

Patrick's Voice: Okay, but there's more.

Ryan is attentive, and is listening.

Patrick's Voice: After we did her, I caught up with her and asked her out.

Ryan looked down at a fading Marissa in his arms.

Stan's Voice: Patrick…do you know how unethical…

Ryan: That must be the guy I saw you with.

_At the Bait Shop that night, the skinny guy._

There is another click, and Ryan finds himself standing outside Jimmy Cooper's apartment.

_Oh God, I know what happens now._

Marissa came to the door and opened it. It was obvious she'd been crying.

Ryan: What's wrong?

Marissa: Maybe you should ask Theresa.

Ryan caught the door before Marissa could shut it and pushed his way in.

Ryan: What's going on?

_I knew what was going on. I just couldn't bring myself to say it._

Marissa: Theresa's pregnant. And the baby might not be Eddies, so why don't you tell me what's going on.

_At that minute, that second, I knew it was over. Like it was impossible for the two of us to be happy for more than five minutes. I had no idea what to say to her. Here I am reliving this memory and I still don't know what to fucking say to her._

The room starts to fade around them. Ryan can see Marissa's anger and sadness melt away with his memory. Suddenly Ryan heard a knocking sound coming from above him, he looked up.

-


	8. 07

Mary's knocking at the pool house door echoed in Ryan's head. It stopped when Patrick opened the door for her.

Mary: (Coolly) Oh, hey, Patrick.

Patrick: Hi, Mary. How's it going?

Mary walks past Patrick.

Stan: Hey, you.

Mary moves towards Stan, and they kiss. She looks down at Ryan, and takes her coat off.

Mary: It's freezing out.

Patrick: It's southern California.

Stan: You found us okay?

Mary: Yeah.

She motioned towards Ryan.

Mary: Poor guy…got anything to drink?

Stan: We haven't checked.

Mary: Well, allow me to do the honors.

Mary made her way up to the small kitchen in the pool house, and rummaged through cabinets looking for something to take the edge off. Stan turns back to his monitor, and the slivers of light.

Patrick: She hates me. I've never been popular with the ladies.

Stan: Maybe if you stop steeling their panties.

Patrick looks guilty for a second.

Patrick: Okay, there's more, Stan –

Stan looks over at Patrick. Mary returns with a not so secretly stashed bottle of Sandy Cohen's scotch and two glasses.

Mary: Hey, hey.

She pours the scotch.

Mary: Oh, Patrick, you didn't want any, did you?

Patrick: No, I don't know.

Mary hands a glass to Stan. She holds hers up in a toast.

Mary: Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders.

Mary and Stan click glasses.

Mary: Nietzsche. Beyond Good and Evil. Found it in my Bartlett's.

Stan: That's a good one.

Mary: Yeah, I can't wait to tell Howard! It seems really appropriate.

Stan: (A little sulky) It's a good one all right.

Patrick: What's your Bartlett's?

Stan: It's a quote book.

Mary: I love quotes. So did Winston Churchill. He actually has a quotation in Bartlett's about Bartlett's. Isn't that trippy?

Patrick: (Trying to engage) Yeah. Cool.

Mary: "The quotations when engraved upon the memory give you good thoughts."

Patrick: Very cool. Trippy.

Mary: I like to read what smart people say. So many beautiful, important things.

Stan: Yup.

Mary: Don't you think Howard's like that? Smart? Important?

Stan waits a beat before responding.

Stan: Yup.

Patrick: Definitely!

Mary: I think he'll be in the Bartlett's one day.

Stan focuses on the monitor while Mary pours herself another drink.

Patrick: Definitely.

-

It's dark. Ryan and Marissa are in bed in the pool house. This was one of the few nights in the brief period of time between The Theresa Melodrama 1 and The Theresa Melodrama 2, that Marissa was actually able to spend the night with Ryan. The memory is just starting to be erased. Things are disappearing around Ryan Marissa every second.

Marissa: You don't tell me things, Ryan. I tell you everything. Every damn embarrassing thing. You don't trust me.

Ryan: No, it's not that.

Marissa: I want to know you.

Ryan: You do know me.

Marissa: I know, but every time I bring up something from your past…it's like you push me away.

Ryan: It's just I don't have anything very interesting about my life.

Marissa: Ryan, you're a liar.

Ryan couldn't help but laugh. Marissa moved herself onto Ryan's lap, straddling him.

Marissa: You're life didn't start when you moved to Newport. And there's nothing about you that I find boring, or not interesting. So…what ever it is, I'm interested….because I'm interested in you.

Ryan smiled and sat up in bed, pulling Marissa closer to him. They both leaned in, letting their lips linger right outside the others for just a second.

Marissa: God, I missed you…

Their lips met, but the kiss wasn't long lived. As Ryan wrapped his arms fully around Marissa's waist, she erased along with the rest of the room. Ryan remained in a now completely faded out room.

_What the hell am I doing?_

-

There is another click and Ryan is standing in Theresa's back yard. It's her engagement party. He notices Theresa and Eddie standing near the house speaking with Theresa's mother. He turns his head and smiles seeing Marissa.

Ryan: So, what do you think of Chino?

_She said, "actually, I think I could get in more trouble where I'm from"_

Marissa: Actually, I think I could get in more trouble where I'm from.

They smiled.

_I remember that smile, that look. At the time, Eddie and my conversation had played over and over in my head. "Dude, she picked the one place she knew only you could find her." It was true._

_I should have said something different. Looking back, I should have said something different. But I didn't._

Ryan: I'm sorry…about everything. The trip to L.A….your mom. Everything. But um…we have to get back. The longer we stay here the worse it's going to get.

Marissa: How can it get any worse?

Ryan: She could put you away.

Marissa: Yeah, let her try.

Ryan: She tried before. It almost worked.

Marissa: Yeah, well this time she's going to have to find me first.

_This is where she storms off…yup, no different. I think I stood there for longer than I had the first time around…watching her walk away from me. I remember thinking about how scared she used to be of her mother. Julie Cooper is scary…is it Julie Cooper-Nichol? Technically they're not married yet. Whatever…this girl went from hiding in her shell to declaring all out war. Shit…I better get in there._

Ryan opened the door to the back house, and found Marissa slipping a red shirt over her head.

Ryan: What are you doing?

Marissa: Getting out of here.

Ryan: To go where?

Marissa: I don't know okay? I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know anything, except I can't go back there!

Ryan: You can't keep running away, and I can't keep chasing after you.

Marissa: Who asked you to? I don't even know why you're here.

Ryan: Yeah, well maybe you should think about it, instead of always thinking about yourself!

Marissa looked at Ryan for a moment, like she couldn't believe he had just said that.

_She looked stunned. Like she couldn't move for a second. But that didn't last._

Marissa shook her head slightly and spotted her belongings lying on the floor in the corner. She went for them immediately.

Marissa: Get out of my way.

Ryan moved in front of her putting his hands on her arms and pushing her back.

Ryan: You're not going anywhere.

Marissa: Ryan, move! I mean it!

She made another move, this time not thinking of her stuff and having her sights set on the door. She tried to push Ryan aside, but he blocked her again.

Ryan: No, you're not going anywhere.

Marissa was persistent, constantly trying to free herself from Ryan.

Marissa: Get out of my way.

Marissa's pushing became more violent as her fists became clenched and tried everything she could to free herself.

Marissa: Move!

_She was fighting hard…like if she could just get out the door everything would be fine. But I knew it wouldn't…and I knew that she knew too. I could hear in her voice how sad she was. She was on the verge of tears, trying so hard not to cry. I could tell._

Her attempts to free herself became panicky. Her arms were flailing around, her hair being tossed around as well. She pounded her fists against Ryan's chest, and with one last surge of effort she gave him everything she had left in her, screaming the whole time.

Marissa: Get out of my way!

_That was when she broke. She tried to get around me, but I stopped her, pulling her close to me. At that moment it was like all the anger poured out of her, and she collapsed into me. She finally gave into her tears._

Marissa: (Sobbing) I can't go back there.

Ryan wrapped his arms around her.

_I couldn't do anything but hold her. As I wrapped my arms around her waist, I felt her fists unclench on my chest. Her hands slowly slid up to my shoulders. She leaned her whole body into mine, allowing me to hold her up. Like she might fall down if I hadn't been there._

Marissa's crying became heavier as she leaned her head into Ryan's.

Ryan: (Quietly) Okay.

Ryan held on to her a little tighter and closed his eyes. Allowing his head to burrow into Marissa's neck.

Ryan: Okay.

Marissa let her forehead lay on Ryan's shoulder, she was still crying.

Ryan: It's okay.

_I think she looked at me briefly. I could feel her head move. I don't know for sure, my eyes were still closed. Somehow the tables had turned, and now I was the one trying not cry. I'm pretty sure she could tell._

Theresa's Mom's Voice: Ryan, are you in there?

_At first I couldn't talk. Somehow I forced myself to speak._

Ryan: Yeah.

Theresa's Mom's Voice: There's someone here to see you.

Ryan: Okay.

_I still had my eyes closed. I could tell that Marissa didn't want me to let her go. And she could probably tell that I was wagering a war inside of myself on whether or not to let her go._

Ryan took a step back. Marissa leaned forward, letting her forehead rest on Ryan's for just a moment.

_It was like an unspoken "thank you." We were always good at that…having conversations without words._

Marissa: You know…you don't have to go this time.

Ryan: It's almost over anyway.

Marissa: I know.

Ryan stepped towards Marissa again. He leaned in allowing his forehead to rest on hers. Their fingers intertwined and they both stood there motionless, the room and everything else, faded away.

-


	9. 08

Ryan stood by his bike, his lock in his hand.

Ryan: Why are you doing this?

Marissa: Look, I'm used to getting what I want. And I realize that that's not the most attractive quality, but…I can't compete with someone you've known your entire life.

_I should have told her that she really had nothing to worry about. I should have told her that I was using Theresa in some fain attempt to get over her. Hell, I should have told Theresa that I was using her…but then again, she knew it. She was using me. I knew it wasn't working, though. How do you get over Marissa Cooper?_

_You erase her…that's how._

Suddenly Ryan and Marissa are standing in the pool house. She's wearing that pink dress she wore to the Valentines Day dance.

_I hate Valentines Day._

Marissa: Can't you just forgive me?

Ryan: How.

_I'll never forget the look on her face when I said that…although I guess now, I will._

Ryan: I don't know if…we can be together. I mean, look how easy it was for someone to come into our lives and come between us.

_She looked down at the floor. I knew she was sorry, I knew she felt guilty._

Ryan: How do I know it won't happen again?

Marissa: It won't.

Marissa moved towards Ryan quickly.

Marissa: You have to trust me.

Ryan: Oh, like you trusted me.

Marissa starts crying.

_I made her cry…I hate making her cry._

Marissa: Ryan…

Marissa composed herself slightly looking into Ryan's eyes.

Marissa: …so that's it?

_I didn't want to say no…but I couldn't say yes either._

Ryan: I can't pretend it didn't happen.

_I made her cry again. She brought her hands up to her face, in some attempt to hide her tears so I couldn't see them. It didn't matter. I knew they were there, and I knew I had caused them. Truth was, we both caused them. That's when she ran out. I moved towards the door, and for a second I thought about going after her. But I didn't. I let her go._

-

Ryan is sitting alone at a table. It's the Valentines Day Singles Party. Marissa was approaching Ryan.

_She smiled at me. I didn't really want to deal with this, but I knew I had to. I smiled back._

Marissa: Can we just…start over?

Ryan: Start over?

Marissa extended her hand out to Ryan, a silly grin on her face.

Marissa: Hi! I'm Marissa. You go to Harbor, right?

_I looked up at her, and part of me wanted so much to pretend. But I couldn't._

Ryan: I know what you're trying to do, and…I can't.

Her face dropped. She looked at the floor. There were definitely no more smiles.

Ryan: I'm sorry

-

Suddenly Ryan is zapped to a new memory, he's gathering his things in a classroom full of four, maybe five students. He glanced up at the clock and suddenly realized where he was.

_Oh, here we go._

Ryan was the last out of the room. Except this time he was prepared to find Marissa leaning up against a row of locker's waiting for him.

_I thought you were helping Kirsten._

Marissa: I thought you were helping Kirsten.

Ryan: I got detention.

Marissa: I see that…what for?

Ryan: What if we did this differently this time?

Marissa: It's not going to change anything Ryan.

Ryan: I know. But it doesn't mean I don't wish we could.

Marissa: I know.

The lights went off around Ryan, as the school hallway seemed to effortlessly disappear into oblivion. Ryan found himself standing next to Oliver at the pool table in the lounge, pool cue in his hand.

Oliver: What, you think I came here for Marissa?

_Should I bash his head in now or later…I mean, it's going to happen anyway, right?_

Oliver: Here's the deal Ryan, and it's nothing personal.

_But Marissa and I…we just connect. What a load of bullshit._

Oliver: But Marissa and I…we just connect.

_She understands me, gets me._

Oliver: She understands me, gets me…

_I'm not living through this fucking speech again._

Ryan looked over at Oliver and swiftly punched him hard across the face. Oliver flew back, crashing onto the floor. Kids immediately swarmed around to break up the fight. Ryan stood back as he counted the seconds before Marissa was going to come charging into the room.

_5…4…3…2…1…_

Marissa entered finding Oliver bloody and on the floor. She ran towards the fight and stared at Ryan with a look he'd never seen before.

_She had never looked at me that way before. That much I can remember for sure. I could see the hurt in her eyes, the pain I'd caused her, and yet even now, I can't do anything about it. At the time, I wanted to scream out to the world that I had been right…but now, being able to really see her…_

The student lounge goes dark around him, as people's faces blur together and slowly fade away. Suddenly, Ryan feels like he's falling, he sees a flash of him and Luke almost crashing into a tree at the hand of Oliver's golf cart driving. He heard the loud crash of plates being broken in the sink when Ryan confronted Oliver about Marissa in Palm Springs. He heard a whirlwind of scream's and shouts, of bad conversations trying to convince people he knew the truth. Suddenly, Ryan turned around, a bright white light shown in his eyes. He looked past the flashlight, and saw a Harbor High School Security Guard.

_Well, at least I know where I am._

Everything flashed around him once again as he was zapped to Oliver's Penthouse Suite.

Marissa: (Trembling voice) Ryan, he's got a gun!

The next thing Ryan knew, he was pulling Marissa into a tight embrace as she sobbed on his shoulder.

Marissa: (Sobbing) I'm so sorry, you were right.

Ryan: Shh…it's okay.

Marissa: (Sobbing) I'm so sorry…

The room fades to black like all the others before it and Ryan is alone once again.

Patrick's Voice: Hi, Marissa! Why, what's wrong? – Oh, I'm sorry. Well, I'm not sure, I have to study for my test –

Ryan hears the voice and the mention of Marissa's name, and looks up.

-

Patrick is on the phone sitting on the edge of Ryan's bed. Stan watches the lights on the computer screen.

Patrick: Hold on; let me ask my friend.

Patrick turned towards Stan and covered the mouthpiece with his hand.

Patrick: Stan, can I leave for a little while? My girlfriend is very –

Stan: We're in the middle of –

Patrick: She's right in the neighborhood. She's upset.

Mary, who has been hovering in and out of the fridge, looking for food, overheard Patrick and Stan talking, and piped in.

Mary: Let him go, Stan. I can help.

Stan: (Sighing) Go.

Patrick: (Quietly) Mary hates me…(bringing the receiver back to his mouth) I'll be right over, Marissa.

-


	10. 09

Ryan and Marissa lay buried under the covers in the pool house. It was 12:25am, on January 1, 2004. Ryan and Marissa had left Oliver's party almost immediately, heading directly back to the pool house. Marissa found the copy of The Model Home Mix she made for Ryan, and put it on. Mellow music wafted through the air as Ryan and Marissa's bodies intertwined under the covers. Ryan pulled out of a deep kiss, letting his forehead rest on Marissa's.

Marissa: God, I love you.

Marissa opened her eyes immediately to find Ryan smiling. His eyes remained closed. But a smile formed on Marissa's lips at the sight of him.

Ryan: I love you too.

Ryan opened his eyes and found Marissa staring up at him. Their eyes locked, both their grins growing bigger.

_Can't I keep just one moment? Just one little thing to remember her by? It was moments like this that made everything worth it. That was the first time we actually said "I love you." No thank you, no you're welcome. No jokes. It just came out, and we both meant it._

Ryan leaned in kissing Marissa again, this time, a level of urgency in his kiss, as if he finally realized that this was one of the last times he would get the chance.

Marissa: You can't do anything to stop it Ryan.

Ryan: Why are we doing this? What happened to us?

Marissa: I'm sorry Ryan.

Ryan: I don't want to lose this. I don't want to lose you.

Marissa titled her head up slightly catching Ryan's lips with her own. Their kisses deepened as they began to make love. It wasn't the first time they had made love, or the last for that matter. It was soft and gentle, and it slowly began to fade away.

Ryan: No! Jesus! No!

Ryan looks down at Marissa's face, which is fading away. He jumps up and screams towards the ceiling.

Ryan: Please! Please! I've changed my mind!

Ryan looks down at a still fading Marissa.

Ryan: I don't want this! Wake me up! Stop the procedure! Plea –

-

Ryan is unconscious on his bed, completely still. Mary and Stan watch the monitor and smoke a joint.

Mary: It's amazing, isn't it? Such a gift Howard gave to the world.

Stan: (Sighing) Yeah.

Mary: To let people begin again. It's beautiful. You look at a baby and it's so fresh, so clean, so free. And adults…they're like this messy tangle of anger and phobias and sadness…hopelessness. And Howard just makes it go away.

Stan: You love him, don't you?

Mary seems surprised, taken aback, caught. She is silent for a long moment.

Mary: No.

She waits a beat before continuing.

Mary: Besides, Howard's married, Stan. He's a very serious and ethical man. I'm not going to tempt him to betray all he believes in.

Stan takes another drag on the joint, and passes it to Mary.

-

Marissa watches Patrick, who is carrying a full backpack, from her balcony as he nears her house. She makes her way down the stairs and through the house, flinging the front door open. She jumps into his arms, hugging him.

Patrick: Oh, baby, what's going on?

Marissa: I don't know. I'm lost. I'm scared. I feel like I'm disappearing. Nothing makes sense anymore.

Patrick: Oh, Marissa.

Marissa: Nothing makes any sense. Nothing makes any sense.

Marissa pushes herself out of Patrick's embrace and stares at him for a second.

Marissa: Come out in the ocean with me.

Patrick: Sure. We'll go next weekend and –

Marissa: No. Now! I have to go now. I have to go swimming. Now! Tonight!

Patrick: Um, okay. I'll call my study partner.

Marissa: Okay. It'll be great! I'll get my stuff.

She runs up the stairs and into her bedroom. Patrick is at the phone. He dials a number, and the phone starts ringing.

Stan's Voice: Hello?

Patrick: Stan, it's Patrick.

Stan's Voice: Hey, where are you?

Patrick: I got into a situation with the old lady. Can you handle things tonight alone? I'm really sorry, man.

-

Stan is sitting in the pool house, on the phone. He's really stoned and watches Mary, stoned herself, dancing as if she's in a trance to something mellow and low on the stereo.

Stan: I can handle it. He's pretty much on auto-pilot anyway.

-

Patrick sits down on the edge of Marissa's couch.

Patrick: Thanks, Stan. I owe you.

Patrick hangs up, rifles quickly through his backpack. He pulls out a small red box, removing a tag and shoving it back into his backpack before slipping the box into his pocket. He returns to his backpack and pulls out a journal, flips through it, keeping an eye on Marissa's bedroom door upstairs. The handwriting is a woman's; he finds what he's looking for. He reads:

In Marissa's voice:

_Ryan and I had our first date last night. I guess it wasn't really a date. He made grilled cheese and I brought my Mac Cheese, from the night before. We were sitting by the pool talking. I remember thinking how calm he made me feel, how safe. He made some comment about me still being about to have fun. For some reason, I guess he made me realize that I could. I grabbed his hand and made him come down to the beach with me. It's so beautiful at night. It's always empty, the stars shone bright, and the waves crash against the sand with this sort of elegance, grace. I wadded out into the water while Ryan stood on shore, he looked nervous about coming in the water. But he wanted to please me – he's so sweet – so, he came in after me. We were both fully clothed. He came up to me in the water and dunked my head under, of course…that meant war. We got into an all out water fight, splashing around and screaming. Once, he came up behind me, dunking me under the water. When I came up, I was right in front of him. Our lips centimeters apart, I wanted him to kiss me. But he didn't. After a while, we were just floating on our backs next to each other, looking up at the stars. He reached over and took my hand and said, "I could…_

-

Ryan and Marissa float out in the Pacific Ocean, holding hands and looking up at the stars.

Ryan: …die right now, Marissa. I'm just…happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be.

Marissa looks over at him. Her eyes are filled with love and tears. Then they get vague. The scene is being erased. Ryan is panicked.

Ryan: Marissa, no! This can't be happening. Please! Oh, fuck! Please!

Ryan makes his way out of the water, running crazily up the beach. He passes through a series of decayed memories: he and Marissa arguing in the car when she was going to drive drunk, them making love, laughing and holding hands at a movie, their kiss on the pier when they got back together, eating grilled cheese sandwiches together, Ryan watching her sleep. He arrives at a decayed version of his first meeting with Mierzwiak.

Mierzwiak: We can help you through his. Why don't you start now by telling me everything you can remember about –

Ryan: You have to stop this!

Mierzwiak: What? What do you mean?

Ryan: I'm trapped in my head and everything I love is being erased! Stop it now!

Mierzwiak: Yes, but…I'm just something you're imagining. What can I do? I'm in your head, too.

-

Patrick remains sitting on Marissa's couch reading the journal.

In Marissa's voice:

_…and then we went back to the pool house. He brought me a towel, and I made some joke about wearing one his tank top's so I could look as cool as him. He wrapped the towel around my arms, rubbing them so I wouldn't be cold. It was amazing._

Marissa exits her bedroom, walking down the stairs. Patrick immediately puts the journal away.

Marissa: I'm so exited.

Patrick: I'm excited too. Oh, and I wanted to give you this. It's a little…thing.

Patrick pulls the small box out of his pocket and hands it to Marissa.

Marissa takes it from him, slightly shocked.

Marissa: What is it?

Patrick: I…I don't know. Open it.

Marissa unwraps the box and pulls out a kind of funky necklace.

Marissa: It's gorgeous.

She slips it around her neck.

Marissa: Just my taste. I've never gone out with a guy who bought me a piece of jewelry I liked.

She stopped for a moment as if deep in thought. Then, without pause, she took a step forward and leaned in, giving him a small kiss.

Marissa: Thank you. Now, let's get going.

-

In the pool house, Stan and Mary have sex on the floor next to Ryan's bed.

-


	11. 10

Ryan is out of breath. He's run up what seems like endless flights of stairs, and he's almost to the top. He stops for a second looking down at his watch.

_I should have taken the elevator this time._

He takes a deep breath, and pushes through the pain. He climbs the last stair case, and pushes his way into the hallway outside of Oliver's penthouse suite. Ryan flew the door to the suite open, immediately immersed in noise makers, and people screaming, all ready to rake in the new year.

_I saw her immediately…it was like we were the only two people in the room._

Ryan ran towards Marissa, pushing people out of his way as he neared her.

_It really did feel like slow motion. Wait, my favorite part. 3…2…1…_

Ryan and Marissa's lips met as everyone in the room yelled out "Happy New Year!" Ryan pulled away out of breath.

Ryan: I love you.

Marissa: What?

Ryan: I love you.

Marissa pondered for a few seconds, and then got a silly grin on her face.

Marissa: Thank you.

_In some weird way, her saying that was better than actually saying it back to me. I don't know how._

Marissa: It was so beautiful, wasn't it?

Ryan: What?

Marissa: This whole scene. You running in at the last moment, telling me you love me. It's like storybook.

Ryan: Yeah, it is.

Suddenly Ryan snapped out of his memory.

Ryan: Fuck! They're erasing you, Marissa!

Marissa: Oh?

Ryan: I hired them to. We're in my brain. But I want it to stop, before I wake up and I don't know you anymore.

Marissa: Wow. Um, well…can't you just force yourself awake?

Ryan: I don't know.

Ryan concentrates. Nothing happens.

Ryan: This is all your fault, you know?

Marissa looks at him and smiles.

Ryan: I would have never done this, if you hadn't done it to me.

Marissa: I'm sorry, Ryan. I wasn't thinking. You know me, I'm impulsive.

Ryan: It's one of the things I love most about you.

The memory starts to fade. Marissa fades. The other people in the room have already disappeared, and now, the room is turning black, as Marissa continues to fade.

Ryan: Aaargh! It's horrible! I'm trapped!

The room turned black.

-

_God, I loved this day. This was the first time we made love._

Marissa was hovering over Ryan in bed. All the lights are off.

Marissa: Best…

She leans in catching Ryan's lips.

Marissa: …date…

They kiss again.

Marissa: …ever.

They both smile as Marissa brings her hand up to Ryan's face and leans in to kiss him again. The kisses start soft but grow more passionate by the second. Each one of their bodies seemingly aching for the other one's.

_It had never felt this good. This right. Although nobody ever made me feel the way Marissa made me feel. I remember; clothes were flying all over the place before we knew it. Like neither of us even needed to think about it. Like somehow, someway, we both just knew it was right_

_We made love and it was perfect. It was gentle and soft. Like her. I remember being concerned about her, and asking her if she was okay at some point. She just looked at me and smiled. She leaned up and kissed me as her back arched underneath me. God, I remember that smile. I'm looking at it right now._

Marissa's chest heaved under Ryan's as her hands turned into fists, clutching at the sheets beneath her. Ryan kissed her, it was hard yet sensuous, and they both pulled away letting out a delightful moan, as Ryan collapsed onto Marissa. Marissa's hands let go of the sheets immediately wrapping around Ryan.

_I looked up at her. I was still catching my breath. _

Ryan leaned in and kissed her once again, softly this time. When the kiss broke, he moved off of Marissa, so he was laying next to her. He wrapped his arms around her as a chill went through his body.

Marissa: You're shaking.

Ryan wrapped his arms around her a little tighter and shook his head.

Ryan: No.

Another chill ran through Ryan's body.

Marissa: You are. You're shaking.

Ryan shook his head again, finally catching his breath.

_I was shaking. I'd had sex before…lot's of it. But I'd never made love to someone. Not before her. _

Marissa pulled the covers up over Ryan's body. He brought his hand to her face, pulling her towards him. He kissed her passionately.

_Twenty minutes later I was in the bathroom._

Ryan stands in front of the mirror, wearing only a pair of sweats.

_Yup, here I am. I had already gone to the bathroom. I don't know why I ended up standing here so long._

Ryan turned towards the door and exited the bathroom. He walked through the pool house towards the bed, and spots Marissa.

_She's so sexy._

Marissa is propped up on the bed wearing a pair of panties and Ryan's tank top. She's thumbing carelessly through one of Seth's comics.

_How impossibly lucky am I to have Marissa Cooper on my bed in her panties. _

Ryan: I loved you on this day. I loved this. I loved making love to you, and then after…how we just kind of hung out.

Marissa tosses the comic on the floor and looks over at Ryan smiling. Suddenly her brow furrows in thought.

Marissa: What if you hide me?

Ryan: What do you mean?

Marissa: (Formulating) Well…if they're looking for me in memories I'm in, what if you take me to a memory I'm not in?

She smiles up at him proudly.

Marissa: And we can hide there till morning.

Ryan ponders this. The pool house and Marissa are beginning to fade. Ryan grabs Marissa's hand. She giggles with glee. Ryan pulls Marissa out of the memory as it degrades.

Ryan: Where? Where? Where?

Ryan drags Marissa through the landscape of already decayed memories and turns off into:

-

The kitchen is dated and vague. Ryan and Marissa are standing in an oversized playpen. They are adult, but small. Ryan is wearing footy pajamas, and Marissa is still in her panties and Ryan's tank top. An oversized woman, Dawn Atwood, Ryan's mother, bustles around the kitchen.

Marissa: What is this?

Ryan looks around at the kitchen and up at his mother.

Ryan: I must be about two. (Oddly) I want my mommy. She's busy. She's not looking at me. (Back to himself) She's getting drunk.

Ryan pauses and looks up at his mother.

Ryan: I want my mommy!

Ryan starts to cry. Marissa hugs him, and tries to comfort him.

Ryan: (Still crying) I want my mommy.

Suddenly he was an adult again, and he turned to Marissa.

Ryan: I don't want to lose you, Marissa.

Marissa: I'm right here.

Ryan: I'm scared. I want my mommy. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose…

Marissa: Ryan…Ryan, look…it's not fading. The memory. I think we're hidden.

Ryan sucks in some snot. His mother scurries back and forth around the room, clanging pots and sipping bourbon. The room is not decaying. Ryan smiles.

-


	12. 11

Stan and Mary lie on the floor, their stoned minds wandering after sex. Stan suddenly perks up. He looks at the monitor.

Stan: It's stopped.

Mary: What?

Stan: Listen, it's not erasing.

Stan makes his way, naked, to the computer screen.

Stan: It's not erasing. He's off screen.

Mary: Where?

Stan: I don't know. He's not on the map.

Stan tries to break through his marijuana haze. He fiddles nervously with the equipment.

Stan: I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do! Crap. Crap…

Mary: Well, what should we do?

Stan: I don't know! I just said that!

Mary: Sorry…

There's a long pause.

Mary: We have to do something. He can't wake up half done.

Stan: Shit!

Stand jerks the joystick spastically. Mary, also naked, gets up and stares over his shoulder at the screen.

Mary: (Definitely) We should call Howard.

Stan turns and looks at her. He's stoned and trying to find her motivation.

Stan: No way. I can handle this.

Mary: This guy's off half cooked. There's no time to fuck around, Stan.

Stan tries to think. He paces. Mary watches him. Finally:

Stan: (Without making eye contact) Okay.

He dials the phone and waits.

Stan: Hello, Howard?

-

The room is dark. A groggy Mierzwiak is in bed on the phone. His wife lies in bed beside him, her back to him, eyes open, listening.

Mierzwiak: Stan? What's going on?

Stan's Voice: This guy we're doing? He's disappeared from the map. I can't find him anywhere.

Mierzwiak: Okay, what happened right before he disappeared.

Stan's Voice: I was away from the monitor for a second. I had it on automatic. I had to go pee.

Mierzwiak: Well, where is Patrick?

Stan's Voice: He went home sick.

Mierzwiak: Jesus. All right, what's the address?

-

Stan hangs up the phone looking panicked. He looks at Mary.

Mary: He's coming?

Stan: You better go.

Mary: Hell no.

Mary starts getting dressed.

Mary: Shit, I'm so stoned. I don't want him to see me stoned. Stop being stoned, Mary!

She hurries into the bathroom with her bag.

Mary: God, I look like shit! God!

Mary slams the bathroom door. Stan puts his head in his hands.

-

Ryan and Marissa remain in the playpen. Ryan's oversized mother reaches down as she hurries by and pats Ryan on the head.

Dawn: How's my baby boy?

She's gone.

Ryan: I really want her to pick me up. It's weird how strong that desire is.

Marissa reached over holding onto Ryan's hand. He turned, looking at her.

Marissa: You know, we're okay. They're not finding us. You'll remember me in the morning. And you'll come to me and tell me about us and we'll start over.

Ryan: I loved you so much on that day. On my bed in your panties and my tank top. I remember I thought, how impossibly lucky am I to have you on my bed in your panties.

Marissa smiles and leans in and kisses him.

Marissa: You remember what happened next?

Ryan: I came over to the bed. You smelled so good, like vanilla mixed with my cologne from the tank top, and slightly sweaty. And I climbed on the bed with you and you said something like –

Marissa: Hmm…whatever shall we do?

Ryan laughs. Marissa smiles and leans in and kisses him again. After awhile, Ryan pulls back.

Ryan: There's this guy!

Marissa: What?

Ryan: There's this guy. I heard him talking in the pool house. He's one of the eraser guys. And he fell for you when they were erasing you, so he introduced himself the next day as if he were a stranger and now you're dating him.

Marissa: Really? Is he cute?

Ryan: Not funny.

She laughed and play slapped him in the stomach.

Ryan: He stole a pair of your panties while you were being erased!

Marissa: Gross! You must remember to tell me this in the morning. I'm, like, so freaked out now.

-

Marissa and Patrick walk hand in hand down to the beach from Marissa's house. Marissa is crying.

Marissa: What's wrong with me?

Patrick: Nothing is wrong with you. You're the most wonderful person I've ever met.

She glances gratefully over at him and then starts to cry harder.

-

Stan is working on trying to get the signal back. His hair is combed and he's dressed neatly, looking professional but still stoned. Mary is pacing nervously to and from the windows, looking out into the night. Her hair is pulled up into some sort of style. Suddenly she freezes at one of the doors.

Mary: There he is. Oh my God. Oh my God. Do I look okay?

Stan didn't say anything.

Mary: I'm still stoned. Are you? Crap.

She ran over to the mirror, looking at herself, then looking over at the unconscious Ryan in bed.

Mary: (To Ryan) Your Visine didn't do shit, fella.

There is a knock at the pool house door. Mary lunges for the door, then calms herself before opening it. Mierzwiak stands in front of her, holding an equipment bag. He's surprised to see Mary.

Mierzwiak: Mary. What are you doing here?

Stan: She came to help, Howard.

Mary: I wanted to learn as much about the procedure as possible, Howard. I think it's important for my job…to help comfort the clientele. You know.

Mierzwiak looks from Mary to Stan, nods, and entered the pool house. Mary closes the door, as Mierzwiak crosses the room, walking towards Stan and the equipment.

Mierzwiak: Let's get to the bottom of this. Shall we?

He sits down in front of the computer and does some fiddling.

Mierzwiak: Odd.

He fiddles some more. Mary looks on, fascinated.

Stan: I tried that already.

Mierzwiak: Did you try going through C-Gate?

Stan: Yeah. Of course.

Mierzwiak ponders. He unzips his equipment bag, pulls out another laptop computer and plugs it in to the system.

Mierzwiak: I'm going to do a Spectrum search throughout his memory, see if anything comes up.

Mierzwiak presses some more buttons. The program starts up. A much more complex and detailed human brain appears on his screen. It rotates. Eventually Mierzwiak sees a small distant light in the brain. He zeroes in on it.

Mierzwiak: Okay, here it is. I don't know why he's off the map like that, but –

-

Ryan is being bathed in the oversized sink by his oversized mother. Marissa sits in the water with him, laughing. Dawn doesn't seem to see her.

Dawn: (Drunken slur) Little baby getting awwwl clean.

Ryan: (To Marissa) I love getting bathed in the sink. It's such a feeling of security.

Marissa: (Giggling) I've never seen you happier.

The elements of the memory flash explosively away. Everything turns black around him. Ryan is thrown into:

-

Ryan and Marissa sit in a dark movie theater. A huge Russell Crowe fills the screen in front of them. Ryan reaches over, taking Marissa's hand in his. She turns to him and smiles, and they both look back at the screen.

-

Mierzwiak looks up from the computer screen.

Mierzwiak: Okay, we're back in.

Mary: That was beautiful to watch, Howard. Like a surgeon; or a concert pianist.

Mierzwiak: Well, thank you, Mary.

Stan: (Sighing) You get some sleep, Howard. I'll take it from here.

Mierzwiak: Yeah, probably a good idea.

-


	13. 12

Ryan and Marissa arrive back at the Cohen's after their movie-date. They stand outside the front door talking.

Ryan: I was thinking we could stay in…maybe rent a couple Russell Crowe movies.

Marissa smiled at Ryan.

Ryan: Stay in. So I know you're safe.

Marissa looked into Ryan's eyes and kissed him. When they parted she wrapped her arms around his neck, placing her head on his shoulder. In turn, Ryan did the same. He nuzzled his face into her neck and closed his eyes. Without thinking, Marissa spoke.

Marissa: I love you.

Ryan's eyes flew open as a look of shock set onto his face. Marissa looked at him, but this time, she laughed.

Marissa: I love that look on your face…when I told you.

Ryan: You caught me off guard.

Marissa: I know. It just kind of slipped out.

Marissa starts to fade. The driveway and house around them start to fade. Ryan remembers their plan.

Ryan: They found us before. The plan didn't work. I don't know what to do.

Marissa: Hide me somewhere deeper. Somewhere buried.

Ryan grabs Marissa's hand. They run off just as the memory decays into a husk behind them.

-

Stan is back at the controls. Mierzwiak is at the door with Mary.

Stan: Howard, they've disappeared again.

Mierzwiak: Oh dear.

Mary: I'm so sorry, Howard, you must be tired.

Mierzwiak smiles at her distractedly. She smiles to herself as he heads back to the equipment.

-

Ryan is the size of a junior high school kid and dressed accordingly. He is standing behind a bush in his front yard, peering through the front window of his house. Marissa is with him, dressed how she was at the movies.

Marissa: Look at you, you're so cute. What are we doing?

Ryan: My dad…my dad is going to beat the shit out of me.

_I'm terrified. Even now. I knew I shouldn't have hung around school so late today. Now he's going to be all pissed off and drunk. _

Ryan stood up straight walking towards the front door, and jiggling the knob, allowing the door to swing open. He entered the house. Marissa followed him, lingering in the doorway. Nobody noticed her.

John: Ryan! What the hell are you doing home so late?

Ryan looks over at her mother. She's standing in the kitchen, pouring herself another drink.

John: Well? What do you have to say?

Ryan looked up at his father and then looked down at the floor. John took a quick step towards Ryan smacking him across the face.

John: You answer me when I'm talking to you.

Ryan: I was at school.

John: Bullshit you were at school!

Ryan: I was.

John smacked him again, making Ryan fall to the floor. He didn't get up. He just lay there, motionless.

John: C'mon, Ryan. Get up. Get up!

_I didn't say anything. I hated this. At this moment, I hated him. Everything about him. I looked over at Marissa, she looked shocked; like she'd only seen this kind of thing in movies. _

Suddenly everything flashes violently to white and is gone.

-

Mierzwiak is at the machine in the pool house.

Mierzwiak: We got him back. Stan, I think I'm just going to have to get through this manually. We're running late.

-

Ryan and Marissa walk up a vague random street.

Marissa: Oh my God! The model home.

Marissa runs towards it, laughing. The memory is decaying. Ryan chases after her, grabbing onto her.

Ryan: Marissa, c'mon, we've got to hide you. Remember?

Marissa: Okay, where are we going?

Ryan: I don't know…I don't –

Marissa: Ryan, hide me in your humiliation.

Ryan looks up at Marissa and then yanks on her arm, and they are in:

-

It's dark. Ryan, junior high school size, is in bed, masturbating. Marissa is in there, too. She realizes what's going on.

Marissa: (Mock offended) Ryan!

Ryan continued to masturbate.

Ryan: I don't like it either, but I'm just trying to find a horrible secret place to –

Just then, Dawn, Ryan's mother, popped her head in the door.

Dawn: Ryan, I was just –

Dawn realizes what he's doing.

Dawn: Oh. Um…I'll ask you in the morning, honey. Have a good night.

Dawn backs out, and closes the door. Ryan cringes. Marissa looks over at Ryan and starts laughing hysterically. Flash! It's all gone.

-

Ryan and Marissa sit in the Crab Shack. Marissa laughs as she blows out a single candle Ryan had placed in a double fudge brownie, sitting in front of her. Ryan reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, wrapped in red paper, with a tag on top. He handed it over to Marissa.

Ryan: Happy Birthday.

Marissa: Oh my God, Ryan.

Marissa took the box, unwrapping the gift.

Marissa: Thank you, Ryan.

Marissa pulls out a funky necklace. It's the same necklace Patrick gave her.

Marissa: Ryan, it's beautiful.

Marissa slips the necklace around her neck.

Marissa: I mean, you're the first guy who ever bought me a piece of jewelry I could say that about.

Marissa is starting to fade.

Ryan: I scoured the city for it.

Marissa: I love it!

Marissa leaned across the table to kiss Ryan. Ryan grabs onto her and runs through a decayed version of the Crab Shack, and into the vague night.

-

Ryan is standing in a group of teenage boys. His fists are clenched, he is poised to beat the living day lights out of some nerdy kid, two years younger than Ryan, that lived down the street. Ryan's older brother, Trey, stands next to him.

Trey: C'mon, Ryan, you have to. Do it already.

Ryan doesn't want to. Marissa is standing back watching him.

The boys are goading him, calling him names because he won't hit the kid. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. His fists turned white and he swung his arm in the air. Ryan knocked the kid square across the nose. He fell back onto the cement, his nose bleeding nonstop. The kid clutched his nose, letting out a few sobs, but then trying to conceal his tears in front of the group of menacing boys.

Ryan looked over at Trey and then looked down at the ground.

Trey: Damn, Ryan. I think you broke his fucking nose.

_I can't believe I did that. I'm so ashamed. _

Marissa approaches Ryan, taking his hand and leading him away from the group. The boys don't notice her.

Marissa: It's okay. You were young…they forced you.

Marissa paused, looking over at Ryan.

Marissa: This is great birthday present. Getting to see your life in Chino.

Ryan smiles, and they continue to walk down the street hand in hand.

Ryan: That's where I live. Lived.

Ryan points to a small white, gated house. He looks down at Marissa's hand. It's fading. Marissa is fading. Marissa is gone. His childhood house in Chino is gone.

-


	14. 13

Mierzwiak sits in the pool house, working with the equipment. He has located a small area of light in the brain imaging and eradicates them.

Mierzwiak: I'm getting the hang of it. I still don't understand it. But I'm finding him quickly enough. I'm hopeful there won't be too much peripheral eradication.

Mary sits on the bed.

Mary: (Giggling) I like to watch you work.

Stan sighs, grabs his coat.

Stan: I'll go out for a smoke. If no one minds.

Mierzwiak: (Not looking up) That's fine, Stan.

Mary doesn't say anything. Stan huffs and is out the door. Mierzwiak continues to find and erase points of light. Mary gets up the courage to speak.

Mary: Do you like quotes, Howard?

Mierzwiak: How do you mean?

Mary: Oh, um, like famous quotes. I find reading them inspirational to me. And in my reading I've come across some I thought you might like, too.

Mierzwiak: Oh. Well, I'd love to hear some.

Mary is thrilled, beside herself. She tries to calm down.

Mary: Okay, um, there's one that goes "Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders."

Mierzwiak: Is that Nietzsche?

Mary: Yeah, yeah it is, Howard. And here I was thinking I could tell you something you didn't know.

Mierzwiak: It's a good quote, Mary. I'm glad we both know it.

Mierzwiak looks at her. She's flustered, flattered.

Mary: (Sputtering) There's another one I like, I read. It's by Pope Alexander.

Mierzwiak: Alexander Pope?

Mary: Yes, shit. Oops, sorry!

Mary brings her hand up, putting it over her mouth.

Mary: Sorry. It's just I told myself I wasn't going to say Pope Alexander and sound like a dope and then I go ahead and do it. Like I psyched myself out.

Mierzwiak: It's no big deal.

Mary: You are such a sweat heart.

There is an embarrassing moment as that line hangs in the air. Mary plunges ahead to bury it.

Mary: Anyway, the quote goes, "How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind! Each prayer accepted, each wish resign'd."

Mary smiles proud, and embarrassed.

Mierzwiak: That's lovely.

Mary: Really? I thought it was appropriate maybe. That's all. (Quickly) I really admire the work that you do. I know it's not proper to be so familiar but I guess since we're outside the workplace I feel a certain liberty to –

Mierzwiak: It's fine, Mary. I'm happy to hear it.

Mary: Okay. Good. Great. Thanks. (Blurting) I like you, Howard…an awful lot. Is that terrible.

Mierzwiak seems momentarily taken aback, then returns to his unflappable self.

Mierzwiak: You're a wonderful girl, Mary.

Mary leans over and kisses him, then pulls away quickly.

Mary: I've loved you for a very long time. I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said that.

Mierzwiak: I've got a wife. Kids. You know that.

Mary: (Weepy) I wish I was your wife. I wish I had your kids.

Mierzwiak comforts her with a hug. It turns into a kiss. He pulls away.

Mierzwiak: We can't do this.

Mary: No you're right. Once again. You're a decent man, Howard.

He smiles sadly at her. She smiles courageously at him.

Mierzwiak: I want you to know it's not because I'm not interested. If that means anything.

They stare at each other for a long while, then Howard goes back to locating and eradicating blips of lights.

-

Stan stands in the driveway of the Cohen house, leaning back against Sandy Cohen's BMW, smoking a cigarette. If he stands in just the right spot, he has an unobstructed view into the pool house. He watches Mierzwiak and Mary. They're talking as Howard works. It appears to be a very serious discussion. A car pulls into the driveway, but doesn't drive all the way up. A middle-aged woman gets out, and checks the address on the house. She notices the only hint of light is coming from the pool house, and starts making her way towards it. As she approaches she sees Mierzwiak and Mary inside. Mierzwiak's resolve had apparently weakened and he and Mary kiss again. This time it leads to groping, partial undressing, and falling onto the bed alongside an unconscious Ryan. The woman in the window is transfixed as Mierzwiak fumbles to unzip his pants. He catches sight of the woman through the pool house doors. He practically shrieks and jumps up.

-

Ryan and Marissa walk aimlessly up the pier hand in hand. They both look up simultaneously.

-

Back in the pool house, Mary looks confusedly at Howard.

Mary: What?

She follows his eyes, and sees the woman in the window, who walks off in a huff.

Mary: Oh my God!

Mierzwiak is already in his coat. He's out the door.

-

The woman is already at her car. Stan watches from the top of the drive. Mierzwiak is hurrying to the woman.

Mierzwiak: Hollis! Hollis!

Hollis: I knew it, Howard. I didn't even know why I bothered to copy the damn address.

Mierzwiak: I didn't start out to be this. I came here to work. It's a one-time mistake.

Mary is right behind Mierzwiak now. Hollis is in her car.

Mary: (Heroically) Mrs. Mierzwiak, it's true. And it's not Howard's fault. I'm a stupid little girl with a stupid little crush. I basically forced him into it. I swear.

Hollis turns, looks at Mary and then Mierzwiak.

Hollis: Don't be a monster, Howard. Tell the girl.

Stan has made his way down the driveway now, listening. Mary shivers in the cold, she hugs herself. There's a long silence. Then:

Mary: Tell me what?

Hollis and Mierzwiak have locked eyes. Mary looks back and forth between them. Hollis starts her car.

Hollis: Poor kid. You can have him. You did.

Hollis drives off. Mary watches Howard with increased foreboding.

Mary: What, Howard?

Mierzwiak: We…have a history. I'm sorry. You wanted the procedure. You wanted it done…to get past…I have to finish in there. It's almost morning. We'll talk later.

Mierzwiak shuffles back up the driveway, heading towards the pool house. Mary stands there, unable to digest this, struggling in vain to remember. Stan watches her.

Stan: Want me to take you home?

Mary shook her head "no." She walks off, dazed.

-

Marissa and Patrick float on their backs in the cold Pacific Ocean, staring up at the night sky.

Patrick: I could die right now Marissa. I'm just happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be.

Marissa flips herself up vertical and treads water while staring at Patrick. Their eyes meet.

Marissa: I want to go home.

She hurriedly swam back to shore. Once she felt the feeling of the sand between her toes, she started running. She didn't stop.

-

Mary sits, in shock, in the driver's seat of her car. She's parked on some random street a few block's away from the Cohen's house. She tries to stare out the window, but can only see her own reflection.

-


	15. 14

It is deathly silent in the pool house as Mierzwiak and Stan work on completing the job. Mierzwiak locates a light hidden very deep in the map of Ryan's brain. He targets it.

-

Ryan is standing next to Anna, they are playing skeeball and talking about Seth.

Ryan: Anna, guys like to be chased by girls who aren't interested in them.

Ryan's eyes were taken off of Anna, as he heard Marissa's laugh float through the crowd.

-

About twenty feet away from Ryan and Anna, Marissa drug Summer through a crowd of people.

Marissa: Come on, Sum. It's right here.

Marissa pointed to the Ferris wheel a few feet in front of them.

-

As Ryan was watching Marissa from across the crowd, Anna took notice and looked up at him.

Anna: So do girls.

Ryan, never taking his eyes off of Marissa, nodded his head.

Ryan: She's heading for the Ferris wheel…gotta go.

Anna: (Re-affirming) Good luck.

She watched Ryan walk away, a small smile forming on her lips.

Ryan pushed through the crowd and stopped briefly to look at a vague version of Luke. He pushed past him, watching Marissa and Summer get ready to sit down on the Ferris wheel. Marissa took her seat, and Summer stood in front of her. Summer's back was to Ryan as he approached. He grabbed onto Summer's arm, pulling her back slightly and turning her around.

Ryan: Do you mind?

Summer looked at Ryan, then to Marissa. She looked back at Ryan again, then putting her hands up in the air, and taking one last look at Marissa.

Summer: Not getting involved.

Summer turned and walked past Ryan, he jumped forward and took the seat next to Marissa. He looked nervous and lowered the bar, making sure it was locked into place.

Marissa: What are you doing?

Ryan: I want to talk.

Marissa looked away from Ryan, slightly confused and half shook/half nodded her head. The Ferris wheel lurched as it turned on, and Ryan and Marissa were propelled back and up.

Marissa: I thought you were afraid of heights.

Ryan is breathing deep.

Ryan: Uhh…huh. But…uh…this is important.

Marissa watches the nervous and uneasy Ryan as he begins to notice how high up he is.

_I tried to concentrate. Tried to focus on Marissa and what I wanted to tell her instead of the fact that I was approaching being fifty feet in the fucking air, on a rickety old Ferris wheel._

Ryan: Oh boy. Look…um…

Ryan turned towards Marissa slightly.

Ryan: …I said some things…last night. And I just want you –

Suddenly the Ferris wheel stopped and Ryan and Marissa were lurched forward slightly. The two of them sat at the very top.

Ryan: Wh — Whoa…uh…what's going on?

Marissa smiled at Ryan's nervousness and leaned forward in her seat, looking over the railing at everything below.

Marissa: Uh…we're stopped.

Ryan: Yeah…wha – wha – why…why are we stopped?

Both Ryan and Marissa peer over the side towards the ground.

_I knew I should probably say something. I told her I was here to talk…but I wasn't talking. Then again, neither was she._

A few minutes had passed and Ryan and Marissa had been sitting atop the Ferris wheel in silence. Ryan was on the verge of hyperventilation and was gripping the bar firmly.

Marissa: Are you okay?

Ryan: (Unconvincingly) Yeah…

Marissa turned away, smiling slightly. She leaned forward, putting her hand on the bar, and tilting the car. Ryan's eyes bugged as he leaned back, trying to counteract Marissa's movement.

Ryan: You had to get the cheap Ferris wheel didn't you? What kind of carnival is this Cooper?

Marissa looked over at Ryan and smiled. Ryan looked back at her, suddenly even more nervous. Marissa leaned over the railing again, farther this time. Then fell back into her seat, crossing her arms, and making their car tilt forward and back.

Ryan: Oh…okay…look…

Ryan turned towards Marissa. His eyes closed.

Ryan: …I don't talk a lot…about stuff.

Ryan moved his head slightly. His eyes remain closed. Marissa watches him. Ryan took a deep breath in.

Ryan: I really don't trust people…but, I trust you. Aaa – and I want to make it less…work. No matter what.

Marissa turned towards Ryan a smile creeping on her face.

Ryan: And…if we ever get down from here, maybe we can talk about it.

Marissa: Oh, well who knows when that will be.

Ryan's face scrunched up, his eyes still closed.

Ryan: Please don't say that.

Marissa laughed, a huge grin on her face. She looked towards Ryan.

Marissa: Look, maybe you just need something to take your mind off it.

Ryan: Oh, fifty feet in the air, how do expect me to possibly –

Marissa brought her hand up, turning Ryan's head, and engulfing him in a kiss. Ryan's eyes fluttered open as he realized what was happening and began to kiss her back. His eyes closed again, his hands moving from the bar towards Marissa. They broke for only a second, repositioning themselves and then allowing their lips to meet again. The Ferris wheel lurched on again, and the two of them were thrust forward.

They continued kissing as their car was lowered into the station. It lurched to a halt, and Ryan broke from the kiss, turning towards the operator.

Ryan: One more time.

The operator nodded and pulled a large lever hoisting them back into the air again. Ryan turned back to Marissa. Marissa smiled and giggled as Ryan leaned in capturing her lips again. They continue to kiss, the memory fading around them. By the time the Ferris wheel got back around, everything was gone.

-

Mary enters the dark Lacuna waiting room, frazzled. She flips on the lights and searches the file folders, finds one with her name on it. Her jaw drops. With a shaky hand, she puts the tape into the player on her desk and presses play.

Mary's Voice: (Shaky) Um, I liked you immediately. At the job interview. You seemed so…important and mature. And I loved that you were helping all these people. You didn't come on to me at all. I liked that. I was tongue-tied around you at first. I wanted you to think I was smart. You were so nice. I loved the way you smelled. I couldn't wait to come to work. I had these fantasies of us being married and having kids and just…

Mary starts to cry.

Mary's Voice: …and so…then…when…that one day, when I thought you looked at me back…like…Oh, Howie, I can't do this. How can I do this?

Mierzwiak's Voice: It's what's best, Mary. You know that.

Mary slumps to the floor, still listening to her tape. We move into her eyes.

Mary's Voice: Yeah, I know. Oh, God. Okay, well, I was so excited…

Visions of murky images dance over Mary's eyes. There is no detail. Suddenly, she sees a flirtatious look from Mierzwiak.

Mary's Voice: …Remember you bought me that little wind-up frog?

A vague looking frog appears briefly.

Mary's Voice: And you said…

A vague looking Mierzwiak mouthing Mary's voice.

Mary's Voice: "This is for your desk. Just a little something."

Mary remains on the floor, still listening intently to her tape.

Mary's Voice: I knew then…I knew something was going to happen…something wonderful.

-


	16. 15

It's late. Ryan sits in the pool house working on homework. It's only his first week at Harbor and he's already behind. He has his nose buried in a book. The door opens and Marissa enters.

Marissa: Why are you lying to me?

Ryan: Why are you lying to me?

Marissa: What are you talking about?

Ryan: You and Luke. I saw you yesterday. I heard everything.

Marissa: I…I didn't know what to say.

Ryan: How about the truth, why didn't you just tell –

Marissa: (Interrupting) Why didn't you just tell me? Instead of just going off and hurting him? You're as bad as he is!

Ryan: You know what, I don't need to be lied to by one more person.

Marissa: I didn't lie to you.

Marissa brought her head away from Ryan then looked back.

Ryan: You said, "What happened was between me and Luke, it has nothing to do with you."

A smile appeared on Marissa's face.

Marissa: You yelled at me.

Ryan: Yeah, sorry about that, by the way.

Marissa: I was wrong though…it did have something to do with you. Luke wanted to get back together with me, but I couldn't. And honestly, you were a bigger part of the reason than him cheating on me was.

Ryan stood up from the bed and moved towards Marissa.

Marissa: And I probably would have told you that if you hadn't blown me off…

Marissa suddenly seemed lost in thought; she started rambling

Marissa: …but then Summer got to me, and told me I shouldn't tell you so…

Ryan took another step towards Marissa and raised his hands, placing them on Marissa's arms.

Ryan: Marissa, we have to hide. They keep bringing us back.

Marissa snapped out of it and nodded to Ryan as he took her hand. The two of them ran out the pool house door and into:

-

It's dusk in Chino. Ryan, the size of an eight year old, sits in the living room with his father. Marissa is sitting in a chair to the side. John Atwood, Ryan's father can't see Marissa. He's drunk and sullen and sits on the couch staring at a TV filled with static and snowflakes.

John: Don't be like me, son. Don't waste your life. You'll come to a point someday where it'll be too late. You'll be sewn to your fate…

Ryan: It was horrifying, seeing my father like that.

_There was no hope for me if his life was such a failure._

Ryan: And he sees failure in me, too, written in my future.

Marissa watches an unnerved and confused Ryan.

Marissa: Ryan, you're not sewn in. He's wrong.

John: And there'll be nowhere to go except where you're headed, like a train on a track. Inevitable, unalterable.

The memory pops out of existence with a flash of light.

-

Suddenly, Ryan finds himself standing besides Marissa. She holds a slice of pizza in her hands, while Ryan holds a cup of soda. They lean forward against a metal fence.

Ryan: Look, if your mom's doing all this just to keep me away from you…I'll stay away.

Marissa: I don't want that.

Marissa looked at Ryan and smiled. He smiled back at her.

_I remember this. This moment. It's one of the small ones. But the way she looked at me right then. The way she's looking at me right now. I can't do this anymore._

Ryan: I'm done, Marissa. I'm just going to ride it out. Hiding is clearly not working.

Marissa: Yeah.

Ryan: I want to enjoy what little time I have left with you.

Marissa turned to Ryan and smiled, and the beach dissipated into nothingness.

-

Marissa and Patrick walk up a lonely street. Patrick had caught up with her after she took off from the beach, and was walking her home. Marissa is silent and looks depressed.

Patrick: Do you want to go out for coffee? Or breakfast? Something…

Marissa shakes her head "no". They continue to walk in silence.

Patrick: Well, it was sure beautiful in the ocean with you. Thanks for sharing it with me.

Marissa doesn't say anything. She continues to walk, a little faster now.

Patrick: We'll do it again…soon.

Marissa's head snaps up, looking over at Patrick. She stares at him for a few seconds, as if trying to learn something from his face. She turns her head again looking at the ground, continuing to walk.

-

Ryan is carrying a limp Marissa in his arms. He walks up a dimly lit Tijuana alley towards Seth and Summer who stand watching in shock.

Summer: Oh my God.

Suddenly, there is a flash of light, and Ryan is standing in front of a vending machine. Marissa is next to him, leaning back against a drink machine.

Ryan: So…we have to pick wisely. Ding Dong's or cheese sticks?

Marissa turned towards Ryan.

Marissa: I don't care…pick whatever.

Ryan: I don't care either, so…

Marissa: So I guess we'll just starve.

Ryan looked over at Marissa and then down to the ground.

Ryan: Are you ever going to stop being mad at me?

Marissa: I'm not mad at you.

Ryan: Right…

Ryan looked away unconvinced.

Marissa: Well, why would I be mad at you?

Ryan: Because you walked in on me with another girl.

Marissa: Actually, I think she was a woman. But, why would I care about that?

Ryan turned his head, looking back towards the vending machine.

Ryan: I don't know. Shouldn't be a problem.

Marissa: There's no problem.

Ryan: Except…

Ryan motioned to the vending machine.

Ryan: …Ding Dong's or cheese sticks.

Marissa let out a deep breath.

Marissa: I don't care, Ryan. I don't care about cheese sticks. And I don't care about Ding Dongs, and I really don't care that I walked in on you with another girl…or woman…whatever.

Marissa slumped back against the drink machine looking defeated.

Ryan: The only reason I was with her was because you were clearly back with Luke.

Marissa looked slightly confused and then a sort of understanding appeared on her face.

Marissa: I was not back with Luke.

Ryan looked over at Marissa quickly, suddenly realizing his mistake. He looked into her eyes for a second, and then tore away.

Ryan: Well, you are now, right?

Marissa nodded her head.

Marissa: Right.

Ryan: Good.

Marissa: Great…so, we'll just get to Mexico, split up, and we won't ever have to talk to each other again.

Ryan: Sounds like a plan.

Ryan stared into the vending machine, while Marissa's eyes were darting between the ground and Ryan.

Ryan: By the way, you could have knocked first.

Marissa: Do you ever wonder why I came to the pool house to find you?

Ryan turned towards Marissa looking her straight in the eye.

Ryan: Every day.

_I could read in her eyes that she didn't expect me to say that. Like she didn't know what to say. Like she couldn't comprehend the fact that I would spend my time thinking about her._

Ryan: Here's your chance. Clear the air. Tell me.

Marissa looked down at the ground. Pain and hurt running through her eyes. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth to speak, but when she opened her eyes and looked at Ryan, the words didn't come out.

_I knew she wasn't going to tell me. She couldn't. But she wanted to._

Marissa: Cheese sticks…I _hate _Ding Dongs.

_Nice recovery._

-


	17. 16

Ryan is propped up on the sofa sleeper in a dingy Tijuana motel room. Seth and Summer are asleep in the bed as Ryan hovers under the window eavesdropping on Marissa's phone conversation with her father, outside.

_On the couch. Dark. Quiet. I wondered if I had made a terrible mistake. I thought I could take it back. I thought I could explain that I had momentarily lost my mind. I thought I just might be able to erase it. It's ironic…but only now. I could hear Marissa's voice…"You're getting a divorce…" She sounded like she wasn't surprised, like she could see it coming. All I could hear was hurt._

The door cracked open, and Marissa slipped inside.

_She kept her back to me the whole time. I remember wishing she would just look at me._

Ryan: I can…uh, sleep on the floor.

Marissa: No, it's okay.

Ryan slid over in the bed, and Marissa turned slowly, walking towards the bed, and sitting down. Her hands were wiping tears away the whole time.

_I could tell she was trying to stop crying. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and tell her everything would be okay. But I didn't._

Ryan: I'm sorry.

Marissa: Thanks.

_She feigned an attempt at a smile, but I could see through it. I remember wishing I had explained. Explained that I wasn't apologizing about her parents so much, as I was apologizing for everything fucked up that had happened since I came into town. Back then, I had no idea…but now, I can see it. See the crazy spiral her life was sent on once I arrived. I didn't cause all of it…but I'm sure, at least once, that everybody's thought about what would have happened, or what could have been, if Sandy hadn't brought me home that night. I try not to think about it though, I know what I would be doing in Chino right now…and I don't want to do that._

_I guess in a way I turned this girl's life completely upside down. God knows she did to me. But, that's the thing about it…I should feel guilty that I've done this to her. But I don't. It's selfish of me, I know. But it's the truth. I'd do it all over again…the exact same way to get that feeling back that only she can give me…_

Ryan turned, looking over his shoulder at Marissa. She was asleep, or at least looked like she was. Her cheeks were red and stained with tears.

_I wanted to do something…anything for her. I didn't though…I went to sleep._

-

Marissa's eyes flutter open immediately realizing a warm body pressed against her and a strong arm wrapped around her. She looks at her hand, which is being held. A small smile creeps onto her face as she realizes whom it belongs to. Suddenly, her eyes shut quickly, as if in some attempt to wake herself from a dream. Her eyes flutter open again, she's still in Ryan's arms. She smiles once again, but it's a slightly guilty smile. As if she knows she shouldn't be there, but just can't help herself.

She feels Ryan's head move slightly against the back of her neck. She's worried for a moment, but relaxes. Ryan's eyes open, and he immediately finds himself wrapped around Marissa. His eyes moved from her hair, down her neck to her shoulders as he began to really realize where he was.

_God, I remember this. Waking up with her hair in my face, breathing in her scent as soon as I awoke. At first, I wasn't sure if she was awake. I didn't move. I couldn't move…but she did._

Marissa turned her head slightly, and Ryan's eyes opened a little wider as if he'd been caught. Ryan started to pull his hand off of hers, but this time, Marissa caught his hand. She pulled his arm around her a little tighter.

Marissa: You know, we have at least twenty minutes before Seth and Summer will be back.

Ryan: It'll fade out before that.

Marissa: Well…I don't know.

Ryan: (Quietly) Me either.

Ryan nuzzled his head back down next to Marissa.

Ryan: We don't have much time left.

Marissa closed her eyes and intertwined her fingers with Ryan's.

Marissa: I know.

-

Suddenly, Ryan finds himself eating left over Mac & Cheese and hot off the grill, grilled cheese sandwiches. He's sitting next to Marissa, their feet dangling over the side of the Cohen's infinity pool.

Marissa: Hmm…that was the best grilled cheese ever.

Ryan: Yeah? Well, the Mac & Cheese was pretty good too.

Marissa: (Laughing slightly) Yeah, well it tasted better last night.

Ryan got a mock look of offense on his face, and looked at Marissa. She laughed, leaning towards him slightly and hitting his arm with hers. They both had huge smiles on their faces, as Ryan splashed some water on Marissa with his leg.

Ryan: But hey, we're here now, right?

Marissa: Yeah, I'm glad…we are.

They both smiled at each other once again, feeling no obligation to continue with their original conversation.

Marissa: This is our first "date."

Ryan: Yeah, I guess it is.

Marissa removes her legs from the pool, and stands up.

Marissa: Well, we can still do something fun. Can't we?

Ryan: I think I was supposed to do that…or something like that.

Marissa: Whatever…

Ryan and Marissa walk hand in hand up the sandy beach. Marissa made it to the water first, immediately jumping in. Ryan stood at the shoreline.

Marissa: C'mon, Ryan. The water's fine.

Ryan: I hesitated for what seemed like forever.

Marissa: I could see that you wanted to come in.

Ryan moved into the water. Slowly wading out towards Marissa.

They floated on their backs, staring up at the California sky. Ryan is imbued with confidence. He reaches over, taking Marissa's hand.

Ryan: This is so beautiful.

Marissa squeezes his hand.

Marissa: Isn't it?

Ryan: I could die right now, Marissa. I'm just…that happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be.

Marissa looks over at Ryan, her eyes filled with love.

-

Marissa: Hurry up! I'm freezing.

Ryan made his way towards Marissa who was shivering and hugging herself to keep warm. He held two towels in his hand.

Ryan: You've got goose bumps.

Marissa: I know!

Ryan put his towel under his arm, moving closer to the still shaking Marissa.

Marissa: Towel…

Ryan wrapped the towel around her shoulders, rubbing her arms to warm her up.

Ryan: You want a sweatshirt?

Marissa: Can I borrow one of your tank tops so I can look as cool as you?

Ryan took hold of her towel, pulling her close to him.

Ryan: I'll throw you in the pool

Marissa laughed, her forehead resting on Ryan's briefly.

Marissa: No.

Their lips were unnervingly close, all laughter ceased as they both realized this. They both paused, looking at the other one. They both moved in slightly.

Ryan: We both know the phone's going to ring.

Marissa: Yeah.

The phone on Ryan's nightstand began to ring.

Marissa: Do you still have to? I mean, this time.

Ryan: No.

Ryan leaned in, kissing Marissa. The memory faded out all around them.

-


	18. 17

Suddenly there was a flash of light and Ryan is riding his bike up the boardwalk at the beach. He spotted Marissa leaning back against her car.

Ryan: Marissa.

Marissa looked over at him, and Ryan pulled his bike over to the side of the boardwalk.

Ryan: Hey.

Marissa looked at Ryan and then looked down at the ground, smiling. A small smile crept out of Ryan's mouth as he looked at Marissa for a moment and then looked down the beach.

Ryan: Just heading to the office.

Marissa: Yeah, me too.

Marissa looked out in front of her towards the ocean. There was an awkward moment, and then they both spoke at the same time.

Marissa: You know what…

Ryan: So, I was thinking that, uh…

Marissa looked down at the ground again, smiling. Ryan looked straight at Marissa.

Ryan: When I asked if you wanted to hang out I was asking you out.

Marissa faintly concealed a smile.

Marissa: I know.

Ryan: I just wanted to clear that up because I'm gonna ask you out again.

Marissa looked up at Ryan.

Ryan: You wanna do something tonight?

Marissa: Well I have to baby sit for Caitlin…

Disappointment washed over Ryan's face.

Marissa: But I will be cooking…Macaroni and Cheese, my specialty.

Ryan: So that's a yes?

Marissa thought about it for a second. Her eyes darting from the ground to Ryan. She took a deep breath in.

Marissa: Look, Ryan, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high maintenance.

Ryan: Okay.

Marissa looked into Ryan's eyes.

Ryan: I just think you –

Marissa: (Interrupting) Ryan, I'm not a concept. I want you to just keep that in your head. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours.

Ryan stood back and smiled at Marissa.

Ryan: I remember that speech.

Marissa laughed and looked at Ryan.

Marissa: Me too. I'm still not really sure where it came from. Regardless, I had you pegged, didn't I?

Ryan: I remember thinking that you had the whole world pegged. You just didn't know it yet.

Marissa smiled and looked down at the ground once again.

Marissa: You know, I still thought you were going to save me. Even after that.

Ryan: I know.

Marissa's head raised, her eyes locking with Ryan's.

Ryan: It would be different, if we could just give it another go around.

Marissa took a step towards Ryan.

Marissa: Try your best. Maybe we can.

Everything fades to black.

-

Stan is sitting in one of the chairs in the pool house. His eyes close and his head drops. He catches himself as his chin hits his chest and his eyes spring open. He immediately glances towards Mierzwiak to see if he noticed. He didn't. Stan stood up, yawning, and made his way towards Mierzwiak.

Stan: How is he?

Mierzwiak: (Not looking from the screen) Good, I think. He's staying on the map at least.

Stan: Good.

Mierzwiak: Yes it is.

Stan looked at Mierzwiak, but Mierzwiak wouldn't look at him. He just stared endlessly into the screen. He focused on a slit of light, and targeted it.

-

Ryan is sitting on the couch playing video games with Sandy. They both ditched the Cotillion that night, opting to stay home, and hopefully stay out of trouble. The doorbell rang throughout the house, Ryan got up and walked to the door. Ryan opened the door and was surprised to find Marissa standing in front of him.

Ryan: Hey.

Marissa: Hey.

There was a silence between them for a moment.

Ryan: You're not at Cotillion.

Marissa: Neither are you.

Ryan looked at Marissa, slightly confused.

Marissa: Look, I hope you didn't not go because of last night…or because of me.

Ryan half smiled and shook his head.

Ryan: How come you're not going?

Marissa smiled for only a second before her face dropped and she shook her head, shrugging her shoulders.

Ryan: So, you think just hiding out and staying home is going to make everything better?

Marissa: Seems to be working for you.

A sly smile appeared on Marissa's face, and then turned into a grin.

Marissa: I'll go if you go.

-

Ryan stepped out of his dressing room just moments before Marissa stepped out of hers. He closed the door behind him, and immediately noticed Marissa in the mirror across from the two of them. They both turned, dressed in formal wear, and looked at each other.

Marissa: Hey…are you ready to make your debut?

Ryan just stared at Marissa.

_I couldn't even speak to her she was so beautiful. Like I lost all ability to function._

-

Woman: Marissa Cooper. Daughter of James and Julie Cooper.

_I watched as she made her way onto the stage. She met with her father. He said something to her, I couldn't make out what it was. Suddenly I realized I was supposed to go up there._

Ryan walked up the stairs, his eyes on Marissa the whole time. He stopped in front of Marissa and Jimmy, and bowed. Marissa smiled and locked eyes with Ryan as she curtsied. Ryan took Marissa's hand and led her down the small set of stairs to the dance floor. People's faces were beginning to disappear. Darkness was beginning to creep into the room as Ryan and Marissa started dancing. Ryan looked down at the floor nervously.

Ryan: I hate dancing.

Marissa: Wow, thanks…

Ryan: No, no…um with you…it isn't…

Ryan looked up at Marissa and they smiled and both spoke at the same time.

Ryan: …horrible.

Marissa: …horrible.

Ryan's eyes widened a little as the smile on his face grew. Marissa laughed.

Marissa: You're sweet.

The two remained on the dance floor as the room quickly filled with darkness, and then nothing.


	19. 18

Suddenly, Ryan finds himself standing next to Marissa in a dance hall full of teenagers practicing for Cotillion.

Marissa: See, it's not that bad.

Ryan: You haven't seen me dance.

Marissa: Well, I can help you.

Marissa smiles and walks towards Anna. Ryan shrugs his shoulders and follows.

Marissa: Okay, so you guys will be over here.

She puts her hand on Ryan's shoulder, nudging him towards Anna.

Marissa: If you want, you can get into waltz position.

Ryan and Anna stand across from each other. They both look at each other confused and then look to Marissa.

Marissa: Which means, Anna, you put your left hand on Ryan's shoulder.

Anna reaches her arms out placing her hand on the side of Ryan's shoulder. Marissa smiles and shakes her head.

Marissa: No, not like that. Here, watch.

Anna moves, and Marissa takes Anna's place across from Ryan. She positions herself next to Ryan placing her arm on his shoulder. She looks to Anna to see if she's watching.

Marissa: Now Ryan, you put your right hand on my back.

Ryan raises his arm placing his hand on Marissa's back, behind her shoulder. The same place her hand is on his. Marissa smiles and shakes her head.

Marissa: Lower.

Ryan stares into Marissa's eyes as he slowly begins to slide his hand down her back. The smile fades from Marissa's face as she locks eyes with Ryan. Ryan's hand finally rests at the small of her back, and the two stand there for a few moments at a loss for words. A vague looking Anna watches from the side, apparent of the tension.

Ryan tore his eyes off of Marissa and she snapped out of it, nodding her head.

Marissa: Okay…good.

She looked down at the floor, a confused expression crossing over her face.

Marissa: Good.

-

There is a flash of light and Ryan is standing on Marissa's front porch. He hears her feet shuffle on the floor as she nears the door.

Marissa: I'm coming!

Marissa opened the door and was slightly surprised to see Ryan. Ryan stood in shock, as Marissa stood before him dressed in her Cotillion dress.

Marissa: Hey. You're um…at my house.

She straightened out her dress, letting heaps of it fall from her hands.

Ryan: I…uh…well I uh…I wanted to talk to you about Cotillion.

Marissa: Oh…well, okay…

Marissa twisted in her dress.

Marissa: …I was trying this on, and I can't seem to reach the…

She crooked her arm back trying to reach an unhooked strap.

Ryan: Did you want me to um…

Marissa looked back at Ryan.

Ryan: I could…did you want…

Ryan motioned towards Marissa's dress. Marissa smiled to him.

Marissa: Yeah…you know actually, if you wouldn't mind.

Marissa turned, her back facing Ryan. Her back was bare, only covered by a few straps, the top one hanging loosely off the dress.

Ryan stood mesmerized for a second and then took a step forward. He carefully eyed Marissa and then reached for the strap. Marissa turned her head slightly, eyeing Ryan out of the corner of her eye; a small smile crept onto her face.

Marissa: As soon as you walked in. I knew I had you. You knew I knew that, right?

Ryan smiled and clasped the strap into place.

Ryan: I knew.

Marissa turned back towards him, smiling. The memory faded out into nothing.

-

Mierzwiak sits in the pool house yawning as he stares at the monitor in front of him. Outside, the sky is an eerie sort of blue/gray color that only occurs in the brief period of time after night has faded out, but before the sun has risen. Mierzwiak is distracted from the monitor as the bathroom door opens and Stan walks out. He looks at Stan momentarily and then returns to the monitor. He focuses on an array of bright lights and targets them with the joystick.

-

Ryan is in a whirlwind of memories he had with Marissa. He suddenly finds himself in the middle of Casino Night standing next to a "not-so-happy" to see him, and slowly fading Marissa.

Marissa: I never should have come to see you that night.

There's a flash and Ryan found himself standing next to Marissa on the pier. He turned to her and she looked at him with sadness in her eyes.

Ryan: You know what we haven't done in a while?

Marissa's eyebrows perked up just slightly as confusion ran through her eyes. Ryan extended his arm up, placing his hand on Marissa's cheek and moving his thumb over her soft skin. He pulled her towards him and met her lips with his. Marissa's head was spinning, the Balboa Bar she had clutched in her hand fell to the ground as her entire body relaxed, her now empty hand reaching up and pulling on Ryan's shirt. Suddenly, there was a click, and Ryan found himself standing next to Marissa in front of a counter at the bakery.

Marissa: Oh my God, this is so good.

Ryan turned to find Marissa taking a huge bite out of a brownie. Marissa turned to Ryan, smiling and shoved the remainder of the brownie into Ryan's mouth. Ryan craned his neck back, and brought his hands up, grabbing onto Marissa's arms. There was a bright flash of light in the bakery and the next thing Ryan knew; he was navigating his bike down the pier blind. Marissa, who was perched on the pegs of Ryan's bike, held her hands over his eyes. There's another bright flash and Ryan finds himself sitting on the bed in the pool house, looking over at Marissa. She stands near the small pool house kitchen, leaning back against the counter.

Marissa: Is someone jealous?

Ryan looked over his shoulder at Marissa and then turned back.

Ryan: This song is good. Turn it up. Really…really loud.

Marissa rolled her eyes slightly and turned the stereo up before making her way towards Ryan. She sat down next to him.

Marissa: You know, I should have just told you that you had nothing to worry about.

Ryan: It's okay. I probably wouldn't have believed you anyway.

Marissa smiled and laughed as she pulled Ryan into a kiss. With another flash of light, Ryan found himself hovering over a drunk and passed out Marissa, laying in her driveway. He leaned down, and maneuvered Marissa's body into his arms, walking back to the pool house. He entered through the back, and made his way quietly to not disrupt a sleeping Seth. He lay Marissa on the bed, her arms still wrapped around his neck. Ryan took a few seconds admiring the girl who seemed so perfect on the outside. He took in a deep breath, smelling a combination of alcohol and perfume. Ryan removed her arms from around his neck, and slowly brought a blanket up, tucking Marissa in. Ryan heard a click and he closed his eyes. The pool house faded away around him. When Ryan opened his eyes again, he was sitting inside an open tent set up in the model home had been squatting in. The room was already fading around him. Marissa approached Ryan and knelt down, holding out a CD.

Marissa: Hey…here's a little bit of everything.

She looked up at him, smiling.

Marissa: Let your education begin.

Ryan eyed the CD and took it, slipping it into his bag.

Mierzwiak's Voice: Stan, I need you take over for a second.

Ryan and Marissa looked up.

-

Stan crossed the pool house from one of the chairs, walking towards Mierzwiak.

Stan: No problem.

Mierzwiak: Thanks, I'm going to step outside. Make a phone call.

Stan nodded his head and took a seat at the controls as Mierzwiak made his way into the backyard. He closed the door behind him, and pulled a phone out of his pocket. He dialed a number, and placed the phone against his ear.

Hollis's Voice: You've reached the Mierzwiak's. We can't come to the phone right now. Please leave a –

Howard flips his phone shut and slips it back into his pocket. He turns and enters the pool house again, joining Stan in front of the monitor.

-


	20. 19

Ryan is kneeling on the floor of the pool house rolling up a sleeping bag. Jeff Buckley's, "Hallelujah," is wafting through the air off of Marissa's Model Home Mix. Candles are lit sporadically, creating a sort of iridescent glow in the room. Marissa walks into the room, lingering in the threshold. She attracts Ryan's attention, and smiles when she realizes he's listening to her CD.

Marissa: This song reminds me of you.

Ryan turned his attention back to the sleeping bag, tying secure knots in the strings.

Ryan: I thought you were with Luke.

Marissa: I was…I don't know why I'm here. I just…wanted to see you.

Ryan stood up, and Marissa cautiously took a few steps forward.

Marissa: I mean, you're leaving tomorrow, what if I never…we never…

Marissa's hands fiddled together as she looked down at the floor.

Marissa: Maybe I could spend the night…just hang out.

_My whole body was screaming yes._

Ryan: You can't stay…if you stay, if we spend the night…I don't know that I could leave.

Marissa: Well, then don't.

Marissa moved towards Ryan quickly, but he backed away.

Ryan: Yeah, and you'll go to school in the fall and I'll just what? Hang around here, hiding like some ghost? Cops find me and I have to disappear again?

Marissa looked down at the floor. Ryan took a few steps towards her.

Ryan: We're from different worlds.

Marissa looked up at Ryan and shook her head.

Marissa: That's not true.

Ryan: I'm not like you.

Marissa looked to the floor again.

Ryan: (Stern) Go…

Ryan's eyes dropped to the floor.

Ryan: (Quetly) …please.

Marissa looked him in the eyes, and Ryan turned his back on her.

Ryan: Go.

Marissa turned and fled the room leaving Ryan standing alone in an already fading room. Ryan stood there for only a second before running out the door. He stopped at the top of the stairs; Marissa was almost to the front door.

Ryan: Marissa, wait!

Marissa stopped at the door, and turned. Tears were in her eyes.

Ryan: What if you stayed this time?

Marissa looked up at Ryan. She wiped a few tears away from her face.

Ryan: Come back and make a up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.

Parts of the model home were falling down around them as Ryan made his way down the stairs and towards Marissa. Ryan took Marissa in his arms and kissed her tears away.

Marissa: Bye, Ryan.

Ryan leaned in and softly placed a kiss on Marissa's lips.

Ryan: (Whisper) Bye.

The house filled with black all around them

-

Ryan sits in the passenger seat of Sandy Cohen's BMW. The car is backing out of the driveway. The sun is beginning to set in the sky and Ryan is headed back to Chino. Sandy evens the car out, pulling onto the road and Ryan immediately spots Marissa standing in her driveway. The two lock eyes as Sandy is driving them farther apart. Marissa lifts her hand in a short wave and then lets her arms fall to her side. A large vague black truck pulls up in front of Marissa, blocking both their views as the memory fades away into darkness.

-

Ryan's making his way through a crowded Newport Beach house party, kids are drinking and smoking all around him, the music is blaring. He picks up a red Dixie cup, and stops at the keg to fill it up. Marissa spots him from across the room, and makes her way towards him.

Marissa: Hey.

Ryan finished pouring his drink and looked at Marissa.

Ryan: Hey.

Marissa: So…what do you think of Newport?

Marissa looked at Ryan slyly, and reached over plucking Ryan's drink out of his hand. She brought it to her lips, taking a sip and eyeing him from behind the cup the whole time.

_The way she took the cup right out of my hand like that. It felt so intimate…like we were already lovers._

Ryan: I think I could get in less trouble where I'm from.

Marissa clutched Ryan's drink in her hand and stared at him as one of her faceless friends in a mass of teenagers called out her name.

Marissa: You have no idea.

-

Ryan is sitting in the passenger seat of Sandy Cohen's BMW driving up the highway towards Newport Beach. He looks around the car, and then eyes Sandy.

Ryan: This is a nice car. I didn't know your kind of lawyer made money.

Sandy: No, we don't…but my wife does.

Sandy looked over at Ryan smiling.

_This is it. The night we met. My God, it's over._

Sandy pulled his car up the Cohen's long driveway and parked at the top. He turned the car off and opened his door. Suddenly hesitant, he turned back towards Ryan.

Sandy: You know, why don't you wait here for a minute? I'll be back.

Sandy pulled the keys out of his car, and then stopped, looking at Ryan awkwardly. Ryan looked up into the air.

Ryan: It's no fun if they keys are in the car.

Sandy looked at Ryan and slid the keys back into the ignition. The radio turned back on and Sandy smiled at Ryan as he got out of the car.

_I didn't stay in the car long. Sandy had talk radio on, and I wasn't really interested. I got out and walked down the driveway to have a smoke. I stopped at the bottom, pulling a cigarette out of my pack. I turned my head, and there she was. _

Marissa heard Ryan shuffling his feet and turned her head towards him.

Marissa: Who are you?

Ryan: Whoever you want me to be.

Marissa smiled slightly and turned away.

Marissa: Okay…

_She had my attention immediately. Like she wasn't easily impressed, but I could tell she was interested at the same time._

Ryan flicked open his Zippo and lit his cigarette. Marissa eyed Ryan and then looked back at her house cautiously.

Marissa: Hey, can I bum a cigarette?

Ryan took a long first drag off his smoke and looked over at Marissa closing his Zippo in his hand. He placed his lighter in his pocket, and pulled out his pack of smokes as he walked towards Marissa. Ryan pulled a cigarette out offering it to Marissa. She took it from him and brought it to her lips, as Ryan extended his lit cigarette out towards her. She smiled at him and leaned forward, using his cigarette to light her own. Ryan put his pack back in his pocket and started backing away from Marissa as she eyed him up and down.

Marissa: So what are you doing here? …Seriously.

Ryan: Seriously?

Ryan took another drag from his smoke and walked a few steps back towards Marissa.

Ryan: I stole a car…crashed it. Actually, my brother did. Since he had a gun and drugs on him, he's in jail…I got out. Then my mom threw me out. She's all pissed off and drunk.

Ryan stopped suddenly looking over at Marissa out of the corner of his eyes.

Ryan: So Mr. Cohen took me in.

Marissa took a drag of her cigarette and smiled.

Marissa: You're their cousin from Boston, right?

Ryan smiled, bringing his cigarette up to his mouth.

Ryan: Right.

They stood there for a few seconds in silence, just staring at each other.

Marissa: So suave, so mysterious…it's funny thinking back.

Ryan: Well, at least I knew you'd remember me,

Marissa (Laughing) Yeah…

Ryan looked down at the ground.

Ryan: I guess that sounds stupid now.

Ryan brought his head up. His eyes met with Marissa's.

Ryan: It's almost over.

Marissa took a step closer to Ryan.

Marissa: I'm sorry, Ryan.

Ryan: Shh…it's okay.

Ryan pulled Marissa into an embrace. The already dark street was getting darker and darker all around them. Marissa brought her lips to Ryan's ear, whispering to him.

Marissa: (Whispering) Remember me. Come and find me. Try your best. Maybe we can start over.

Ryan: I will.

Tears were rolling down Marissa's cheeks as they both pulled back slightly looking at each other.

Marissa: I love you.

Ryan: I love you.

Their lips met for one last time as darkness crept closer to them. When the kiss ended, they stood still, holding each other. Marissa's lips moved towards Ryan's ear one last time.

Marissa: (Whispering) Meet me in Montauk…

Everything goes black. Everything is gone.

-


	21. 20

Mierzwiak sits in the pool house watching the monitor. The last specks of light are fading. It grows dark. Mierzwiak is tired, his eyes are hollow. He turns to Stan, who is staring out the window at the newly risen sun.

Mierzwiak: Okay.

Stan turns, nods, and wordlessly begins to clean up. He pulls the electrodes off of Ryan's scalp, coils cable, and packs bags. Mierzwiak walks away from Stan, turning his back to him, and slips his phone out of his pocket again. He dials the same number, placing the phone against his ear. He waits, once again, as it rings.

Hollis's Voice: Hi, you've reached the Mierzwiak's. We can't come to –

Mierzwiak hangs up and puts the phone away. He turns shaking his head and helps Stan finish cleaning up.

-

Mierzwiak and Stan stand in the street across from the Cohen's house loading the last of the equipment into the back of the van. When they're done they both stand and look at each other.

Stan: So, I've got to drop the van off.

Mierzwiak: Thanks, Stan. Thanks.

Stan nods and hoists himself into the van as Mierzwiak turns towards his car.

-

Stan pulls the van into a space marked "Lacuna." He gets out, crosses to his car. Mary is sitting on the hood.

Stan: Hey.

Mary: Do you swear you didn't know?

Stan: I swear.

Mary: And you never even suspected? Never saw us behaving in any unusual way together?

Stan: Once, maybe.

Mary eyes him closely, waiting for him to continue.

Stan: It was here. At his car. I was coming back from a job and spotted you together. You seemed caught. I waved, and you giggled.

Mary: How did I look?

Stan: Happy…

Stan paused for a moment.

Stan: …happy with a secret.

Tears form in Mary's eyes.

Mary: And after that?

Stan: I never saw you together like that again. So I figured I was imagining things.

Mary looks at Stan. She says nothing.

Stan: I really like you Mary. You know that.

Mary: Do you remember anything else? What I was wearing? Was I standing close to him? Was I leaning against his car like I owned it? How did he look at me when I giggled? Tell me everything.

Stan: (Thinking) You were in red. That sweater with the little flowers, I think. You were leaning against his car.

Stan paused, thinking some more.

Stan: He looked like a little kid. Kind of goofy and wide eyed. I'd never seen him look like that before. Happy. You looked beautiful. You looked in love.

Mary got off the hood of his car and stood in front of him.

Mary: Thanks, Stan.

Mary turned and started walking towards the elevator.

Mary: You're nice…but I love him. I knew I loved him. Now I know.

-

Mary sits at her desk in the reception area of Lacuna Ltd. She is flipping through paperwork, and looking out into the waiting room at the sad people sitting in different chairs with their bags of stuff. Mary stood up making her way down the hall and into Mierzwiak's office. Howard is sitting behind his desk. He dials his phone and waits. He hangs up. Mary approaches with a few papers.

Mary: I need this signed, Howard.

Mierzwiak reaches up taking the papers, unable to make eye contact. He signs it, and hands them back to Mary.

Mary: Thanks…

She pauses looking down at Howard.

Mary: So…do we talk about this…or what?

Mierzwiak: I don't know what I'm supposed to say, Mary. I want to do the right thing here.

Mary: Do you love me? Did you love me? Something. I listened to my tape. I can't believe I've been sitting right in front of it for a year. It's like listening to someone else's story. I mean, I hear myself talking about having sex with you and I can't even imagine you naked. I can't even say "naked" to you!

Mierzwiak: I have a family, Mary.

Mary: You made me have an abortion.

Mierzwiak: It was a mutual decision.

Mary: You made me have you erased! I loved you. I love you! How could you –

Mierzwiak: I didn't make you. You thought it best. But, look, I take full responsibility.

Mary looks at him for a long while. Then, out of frustration, she screams and runs out of the room.

-


	22. 21

FIVE YEARS LATER

A twenty-three year old Ryan Atwood flung himself up in bed. He pushed the comforter off of him, allowing it to fall onto the floor. He brought his hands up to his face, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he moved off of the bed and made his way towards the bathroom.

A little over an hour later Ryan stands on a crowded train platform along with various other men and women, mostly all dressed in business attire and commuting to work. Ryan stares straight in front of him taking notice of the empty platform across the tracks. Suddenly he turns and makes his way through the crowd. He climbs the stairs and hurriedly crosses the overpass to the empty platform. An empty train sits at the station ready to leave. Ryan slides through the doors right before they close. He finds a seat and watches the business commuters through a dirty window as his train pulls out of the station

-

A slightly worn and aged looking Mary gets out of bed. She's been crying all night. She's been crying for the past five years. She's a wreck. She walks out of her bedroom and into the kitchen, putting on some coffee then crosses into the living room. Sitting on Mary's coffee table and couch and piles of the files from Lacuna. She had brought home the last of them a few days earlier. Mary makes her way to the couch, sitting down. She pulls the top file off a stack, copies the name and address onto an envelope and stuffs the file and tape cassette into it. She seals the envelope setting it to the side, and reaches for the next file. This one has Ryan's name on it. She pulls out a fresh envelope and copies his name on it.

-

Ryan and Marissa stand in Marissa's living room after Ryan had dropped Marissa off at home.

Ryan: I really enjoyed meeting you.

Marissa: Me too…you'll call me, right?

Ryan: Yes.

Marissa: When?

Ryan: Tomorrow?

Marissa: Tonight.

Ryan smiled and looked down at the floor.

Ryan: Tonight.

-

Ryan entered his apartment, throwing his jacket down on a chair, and immediately picked up the phone. He dialed and waited as the phone rang in his ear.

Ryan: Hi, Theresa, it's Ryan.

Theresa's Voice: Hi.

Ryan: How's it going?

Theresa's Voice: Good. I called you at work today. They said you were home sick.

Ryan: I know. I had to take the day to think.

Theresa's Voice: Yeah, I tried you at home. Did you get my message?

Ryan: I just got in.

Theresa's Voice: Long day thinking.

Ryan: Yeah, I suppose so.

Ryan looks down at the flashing light on his answering machine. He reaches down and presses the button, playing back his message.

Theresa's Voice On Machine: (Cheerful) Hi. They told me you were sick! So…where are you! I had a really nice time last night. Just wanted to say hi, so…hi. Call me. I'm home. Call me!

Theresa's Voice: That's me.

Ryan: There you are.

Ryan pauses for a moment in thought.

Ryan: Theresa, it's just…I'm afraid if we fall back into this fast without considering the problems we had…

Theresa's Voice: Okay, Ryan. I suppose you're right.

Ryan: I had a good time last night. I really did.

Theresa's Voice: So I'm going to get some sleep. I'm glad you're okay.

Ryan: We'll speak soon.

Theresa's Voice: 'Night, Ryan.

She hangs up and Ryan stands there for a few minutes. Eventually, he reaches into his pocket pulling out a slip of paper. He dials and waits as the phone rings.

Marissa's Voice: What took you so long?

Ryan: I just walked in.

Marissa's Voice: Hmm. Do you miss me?

Ryan: You know, oddly enough, I do.

Marissa laughed into the mouthpiece of her phone.

Marissa: Tomorrow night. You, me…I'll pack a night picnic and we'll go swimming in the ocean.

Ryan: Okay.

-

It's night. Marissa wades out into the ocean, the water standing right above her knees. Ryan hesitates standing on the shore. Behind them, on the beach, sits a large blue blanket spread out on the sand. On top of the blanket sits an old wicker picnic basket, holding a left over grilled cheese sandwich and Tupperware container full of Mac Cheese. A half empty bottle of wine sits propped up in the sand next to the blanket. Marissa looks over her shoulder and smiles at Ryan who remains on the short. She waves him in with a smile and Ryan takes a few steps into the water, standing next to Marissa.

Marissa: Don't worry.

Ryan looked over at Marissa and smiled, taking her hand. Ryan looked up at the stars and then at the scene around him.

Ryan: This is so beautiful.

Marissa squeezed his hand and pulled him forward farther into the ocean. Ryan hesitated, using his weight to keep him steady.

Ryan: I don't know. What if something –

Marissa: (Interrupting) What if?

Marissa lets go of Ryan's hand and wades farther out into the water, and jumping in. She came up for air, and let her body rise to the top of the water so she was floating on her back.

Marissa: Ryan, come here. Please.

Ryan hesitated for only a second more before making his way into the water and towards Marissa. He gingerly made his way over to her. Marissa held onto his hand as Ryan's body rose in the water, and he was floating on his back now as well. Marissa stares up at the stars and smiles and giggles slightly, trying to position herself closer to Ryan in the water.

Ryan: Listen, do you want to make love?

Marissa: Make love?

Ryan: Have sex. Y'know?

Marissa: Oh, um…

Ryan: Because I just am not drunk enough or stoned enough to make that happen right now.

Marissa: That's okay. I –

Ryan: I'm sorry. I just wanted to say that. This seems like the perfect romantic exotic place to do it and,

Marissa: Hey, Ryan –

Ryan: …and I'm just too nervous around you right now.

Marissa: I'm nervous, too.

Ryan: Yeah? I wouldn't have thought that.

Marissa: Well, you obviously don't know me.

Ryan: I'm nervous because I have an enormous crush on you.

Marissa smiles and looks up at the sky.

Marissa: Show me which constellations you know.

-

We see a montage of people going to their mailboxes, finding manila envelopes. One by one they open the envelopes and pull out tapes. We see stunned, confused, disbelieving reactions as they listen to their tapes.

-


	23. 22

Ryan returns to his apartment from dropping Marissa off at home after their date. Ryan enters with his mail. He notices a manila envelope and opens it, reading over the enclosed file. He pulls out a cassette tape and sticks it into his stereo. He hears his voice come through the speakers, but it sounds like a younger version of him. Ryan finds his phone and dials a number.

Marissa's Voice: Yeah?

Ryan: Did you send this? Is it a joke?

Marissa's Voice: I probably got the same thing as you.

Ryan: I mean, I haven't even told anyone I've met you. Who would even know to do this?

Marissa's Voice: (Matter of fact) Maybe it's true then. It's my voice on the tape. And I'm sure that it's your voice on yours.

Ryan: That's what you have to say? How could it be true? I never even heard of any procedure like this. It's a joke.

Marissa's Voice: Maybe. Call someone who'd know.

-

We see the people we saw opening envelopes, now on the phone. We hear over and over: "Is this true?", "Did this really happen?", "Do I know you?", "Is it true?"

-

Seth is sitting in the Cohen kitchen on the phone. He pauses nervously, then speaks:

Seth: Yeah, man. It is true. I'm sorry, Ryan, we weren't supposed to say anything. They say it's like waking a sleepwalker.

-

Ryan hangs up the phone with Seth, and dials another number.

Ryan: It's true.

Marissa's Voice: I know. I spoke to a friend of mine as well.

Ryan is immersed in the several page document held in his hand.

Ryan: Look, I have to go. I have to think.

Marissa's Voice: Ryan, we've fucked. We've made love. Apparently, like a million times. And, I don't know, we were lovers before and I think I'm falling in love with you now…

Marissa's voice trails off as Ryan stands dumbly in his apartment. Everything is registering in his brain and he doesn't know what to say.

Marissa: Come over here, Ryan. Please.

-

Ryan and Marissa sit in Marissa's living room. They review their separate Lacuna packages together.

Marissa: It says you were closed off and non communicative.

Ryan: It says here that you drank too much.

Marissa: It says you didn't trust me.

Ryan: It says that you didn't trust me.

They both looked up from their files and stared at each other for a second. There was an awkward silence in the room and then Marissa brought her attention back to her file. She read through it as Ryan watched her from across the room.

Marissa: I think you changed my life. I don't know though…I have all these memories of high school, and that time in my life…but you're not in them. But somehow, when I read through this, I feel good. Like a part of me is waking up for the first time in years.

Ryan sat speechless, still staring at Marissa.

Marissa: We should have sex. It's old hat for us.

Marissa moved towards Ryan, a nervous smile on her face.

Marissa: You know my body like the back of your hand.

Marissa pulls her shirt over her head tossing it to the floor. She sits on Ryan's lap on the couch.

Marissa: Every curve, every freckle.

Ryan stares at Marissa, mesmerized. He tosses his file aside, his hands immediately running up and down Marissa's body.

Ryan: You're so beautiful.

Marissa leans down kissing Ryan, and he gratefully accepts. Ryan's arms wrap around Marissa for the first time.

-

Stan enters the Lacuna waiting room, now crowded with people holding their files. They are a stunned looking lot. There is a new woman in the reception window. The file cases behind her are bare.

Receptionist: May I help you?

Stan: I work here. I used to work here. Stan. Please just tell Howard I'm here to clean out my desk.

Receptionist: (Into phone) Mr. Mierzwiak, Stan is here to – Yes sir.

The receptionist turns to Stan.

Receptionist: He needs to see you.

Moments later, Stan enters Mierzwiak's office and finds him pale and pacing.

Mierzwiak: She should not have done this, Stan. As mad as she was…as justifiably –

Stan: I don't know what you're talking about, Howard.

Mierzwiak: Mary has stolen our files and is sending them back to people.

Stan: Jesus.

Mierzwiak turns up the volume on a small video monitor looking in on the lab, where Patrick has clearly taken over Stan's position. He is in the process of interviewing a sad young woman.

Young Woman: …so I called everybody I know and asked them to tell me something. Now I know my entire history with him, but it's in the form of a story, I'm losing my mind.

Mierzwiak: This is why people must never be told. It's like waking a –

Young Woman: I don't know what to do. Before I thought I was depressed for no reason. Now it's like I've been assigned a reason.

Patrick: This never should've happened, ma'am. We'll take care of it.

Mierzwiak: I know you don't like me much, Stan, but please talk to Mary. She of all people should know this is a dangerous thing she's doing.

-


	24. 23

Ryan sits at his desk at work. He looks bored, and has been eyeing the clock on the wall every fifteen minutes for the past two hours. His phone rings.

Ryan: Ryan Atwood.

Marissa's Voice: Hey, lover. What are you doing?

Ryan: Hmm…boring my brains out at work. Passing the time till I can see you again.

Marissa's Voice: God, I can't believe I ever hated you.

Ryan: You must have been crazy.

Marissa's Voice: Guess what I'm wearing.

Ryan: I don't know. Panties and –

Marissa's Voice: Your tank top.

Ryan: Jesus. I'm coming over right now.

Marissa: No. No, meet me at my house after work.

Ryan: I'll see you then.

-

Mary opens the door to her apartment. Stan stands there with two cups of coffee in his hands.

Mary: Oh.

Stan: Hi.

Mary: What do you want, Stan?

Stan: Can I…I brought some –

Mary steps aside for Stan to enter. He does, looks around, notices tapes and the stuffed envelopes on the floor.

Stan: What's this?

Mary: Nothing.

Stan: I know what it is.

Mary: Then why did you ask me?

Stan: I don't know. I just – there are a lot of really confused people showing up at the office.

Mary: They have a right to know. Howard is a thief. He steals the truth.

She starts crying.

Mary: I can't remember my baby! I can't remember my baby. It existed and I can't even remember. Do you understand that?

Stan doesn't really know what to say. He stands there dumbly. Mary slumps into a ball on a chair.

Stan: Mary, people come to him voluntarily.

Mary: I won't allow it. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. What do you think of that? That's from my quote book.

Stan: The office is filled with people who want their memories re-erased.

Mary: (Hysterically) Remember the Alamo! Remember the Alamo!

Stan: Mary…please. This is hurting people.

There is a long pause, then Mary looks up at Stan.

Mary: I don't want to hurt people. But these things happened! All these little sadnesses, and the big ones. What if no one remembers? What does that do to the world?

Mary stops a minute, thinking.

Mary: (Quietly) Someone has to remember, Stan.

-

FORTY-FIVE YEARS LATER

The old woman stares off blankly at the Newport Beach skyline as she remains in the commuter train. Her giant manuscript still sits in her lap. Eventually, her chair is lifted out of the line of commuters and is stopped.

-

It's a modern and well-appointed waiting room. The old woman enters, sits down behind the reception desk, and drops her manuscript into a drawer. She takes some pills with water. An old man enters the room.

Old Man: How are you today, Mary?

Old Mary: Let's see…still dying, Howard.

Old Howard: You don't have to jump down my throat. I was trying to be nice.

Old Mary: Well, don't try. It's unbecoming of you.

The old Mierzwiak mutters something and disappears into the back. Mary pulls out a file from behind her, removes a small disc, and places it into a machine on her desk. She slips on earphones and listens, somewhat wearily but attentively. The color drains from her face. Suddenly another old woman enters the office. Mary looks up, seems a bit startled, conceals it, and turns off the tape.

Old Mary: May I help you?

Old Woman: I'd like to make an appointment.

Old Mary: I think the doctor is free this morning. He can probably take you right away for an initial consultation.

The old woman smiles gratefully.

-

A few minutes later, old Mierzwiak is working behind his desk in his office. Old Mary enters with the old woman.

Old Mary: Dr. Mierzwiak, this is Marissa Cooper. She'd like to talk to you.

Mierzwiak and Mary eye each other.

Old Mierzwiak: Hello, Ms. Cooper. Nice to meet you. Please have a seat.

Mierzwiak indicates a seating area, and Marissa sits. He joins her.

Old Mierzwiak: Would you mind if I tape our discussion?

Marissa shakes her head. Mierzwiak punches a couple of buttons on his computer console. A tape recorder starts up and his computer screen lights up so only he can see it. On it we see a whole file on Marissa Cooper: a list of fifteen dates of previous erasures stretching back fifty years, all of them involving Ryan Atwood.

Old Mierzwiak: So, why don't you begin by telling me why you've come here.

Old Marissa: Well, I met this man, Ryan, three years ago at a senior dance. We'd both been alone for so long and …

-

Old Mary travels in the commuter tube over Newport. It's late, the tube is mostly empty. She has headphones on.

In Marissa's Voice:

_I remember Ryan and I were having breakfast –_

-

An old Ryan and old Marissa sit across from each other at a breakfast table.

In Marissa's Voice:

_I said something like we should go take a long walk out on the beach…maybe jump into the ocean for a swim._

Ryan looked up from his cereal and stares blankly towards Marissa. Marissa smiles to him, but there is no response…just a dead stare.

_He just stared at me as if I didn't exist. As if I had never existed…_

-

Old Mary remains in the tube, Marissa's tape playing in her ears. Marissa's voice drones timidly on in the distance. Old Mary sits still, headphones over her ears. She is dead. Her eyes are glassy and unseeing. The tape is still playing.

In Marissa's Voice:

_His eyes used to be so filled with love. But it was gone. How can I go back to being alone after seeing love? I was alone for so long. What had I done with my life? I was alone so long._

-

The old Marissa is unconscious in her bed, hooked up to modern versions of the erasing machines. Two young technicians monitor the equipment. The woman's bedside phone rings. Her machine picks it up. After a moment:

Old Man's Voice: Hi, it's Ryan. What's going on, Marissa? Why won't you call me back? Please call me. We need to speak.

The message clicks off. One of the technicians reaches over and presses the "erase" button on the machine.

END.


End file.
